


Pieces of a Whole (or more)

by kransp



Series: Rooftop Kisses - Or - Pieces of a Whole [1]
Category: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice
Genre: Apologies, Babies, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Family, Friendship, Idiots in Love, Marriage Proposal, far too much sighing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-07 05:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 22,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18866284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kransp/pseuds/kransp
Summary: First upload hereMeredith and Andrew picks up from the end of episode 15.12 some influence/spoilers through the end of season 15, but I don't use anything from the last 3 episodes. Also most of the parts involving Jo were written long before Pittsburgh so she is just normal Jo, not depressed JoThis is my over the top nonsense (though I don't believe most of it is a lot crazier than actual canon story lines)This story was rewritten MANY times on my phone as the season progressed. So occasionally things might not line up from one spot to another, I'm sorry about that, but it's finally done, the tags are fixed. One actual story.Mentions of random past/side characters, but unless they've got dialogue in this they won't be taggedThis is only the non-smutty, non-character death stuff...  (any of those will be posted alone) though minor mentions of sex, but not worse than the show itself.





	1. Rooftop Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rooftop scene continuation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole thing was supposed to be called Rooftop Kisses, but I don't plan to change the title now. I guess this is just the name of the first chapter and probably the series this is the start of (nothing else will be nearly this long)

When he told her that they were wasting time not being together, she had brushed it off.

When he told her once he started kissing her he would never stop, she thought he was being dramatic.

When he kissed her on the rooftop she understood how smart he was. She didn't want the night to end. She should have kissed him weeks ago, months ago even... Hell, if she'd had a little more to drink at the wedding she probably would have been kissing him back then. She wasn't sure how much time had already been wasted, that she could have been in his arms, but she didn't intend to waste any more if she could help it.

The kissing started slowly, gently, tentatively, but it had progressed to needy, hungry, daring. She had only a thread of her mental function left. His hands roamed from her neck to her sides, her back, her hips. Always moving, always touching her. Never straying anywhere they shouldn't just yet, but on the move like they had to keep busy or they might start stripping her, right out here on the rooftop. Another time she might not mind that, but for now, while they're just beginning (and probably of equal importance the fact that it's barely 40* out) it needed to wait.

She didn't want to stop kissing him, but she got a page, and then his went off. They reluctantly pulled back, breath heavy, prolonging eye contact just a few extra seconds before checking their pages  
"911 in the pit" they said at the same time as they glanced at each other in acknowledgement before racing off.


	2. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith and Link semi-friendship apology

Link takes so long answering his phone she is starting to think she is going to have to apologize to his machine, and then offer a better one when she gets a chance, but he finally answers.  
"Dr Grey" his tone is flat  
  
"I owe you an apology" she offers  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"I- I should have been honest with myself a lot sooner and spared you. I didn't ask you out to lead you on or play games"  
  
"Why did you then?"  
  
"I wanted- I- It's not important, I'm not asking you to forgive me. I was a jackass, and you were more than- I don't want forgiveness. I just want you to know I am sorry. It's definitely not your fault. I won't continue to bother you"  
  
He sighs through the phone line.  
"I knew better" he pauses "I knew you didn't really feel anything for me"  
  
"So why-"  
  
"Because you're smart and beautiful and I thought it had the chance to turn into something"  
  
It's her turn to sigh  
"Maybe- You're nice, you're an appropriate choice, and I thought maybe I could- maybe I could convince myself I didn't need butterflies... but it's a lot easier to make yourself believe that when you don't already have them"  
  
"I can deal with this. Because I was just as responsible as you were, and Jo and Alex are my friends, and Andrew is my friend... but Meredith, you've already hurt him once..."  
  
"I know"


	3. THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can ignore this

When I started this I didn't know what I was doing. I intended this to be just pieces of a story, and not in order or necessarily all the same story. What I had here has now been moved to it's proper place. However I don't want to mess up the order of the chapters so nobody accidentally skips a chapter. so this is just replacement filler.


	4. Pizza and Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew shares a couple meals with her and the kids (fluffffffff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've lost all track of my timeline... I was trying to decide what to post next and realized how bad it is... this is about 4 1/2 months into their relationship (and about 2 weeks after their first 'I love you') This was my take on her telling the kids about him written way before the episode she told them, but I had a couple lines left blank, I knew Zola needed another line and once the episode aired I stole the line because it fit perfectly.

Andrew is working a day shift, while she has a rare Friday off. She has just put Ellis down for an afternoon nap when she gets a text from him.

Andrew: [Date tonight?]

Meredith: [Sorry, I already have 3]

Andrew: [Tomorrow?]

While she technically has that night off too, she has a consult coming in and a bunch of paperwork she was planning to work on. She doesn't want to wait 2 days so she makes a decision.

Meredith: [I have work stuff]  
Meredith: [.img]  
Meredith: [Do you want to come have pizza and watch a movie with us?]

He opens the .img link to find a selfie of her and Ellis making puffy cheek faces.

Andrew: [Is 6 too late?]

Meredith:[Your pizza might be cold]  
Meredith:[And you'll miss the beginning of the movie]  
Meredith:[But it's not too late for me]

Andrew: [Cold pizza, half a movie, and you. Sounds perfect to me]

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Over pizza Meredith mentions to the kids that she has a friend coming over later to see the end of the movie.

"Why just the end?" Zola asks the obvious question.

"He's working, and can't get here until after it starts. If we wait to start the movie it won't end before bedtime"

"Oh... Mommy?"

"Yes, Zozo?"

"Is it Uncle Alex?"

"No, why?"

"Because you said 'he' and you don't have a lot of boy fr- friends who are boys, and they don't just come watch movies"

"I have friends who are boys other than Uncle Alex, but you're right it is different."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Andrew gets there she extricates herself from the pile of kids on the couch to answer the door. She leads him into the kitchen and kisses him briefly.

"There should be pizza left for you, oddly enough the kids weren't too keen on it"

He opens the box to see she had stuck all the leftovers in one box, including a full half of the pizza he likes.  
"You remembered my pizza order?"

She makes a face "It's hard to forget"

He kisses her again with some enthusiasm. She reciprocates for a few seconds before stepping back and putting her hands in between them.  
"Mmmm... hold that thought, I'm going back to the movie before I'm missed. There's some stuff to drink in the fridge. Grab a plate and come join us. The movie isn't half bad, apparently there's a whole town full of yeti, and they don't believe in humans"

He smiles at her, and she smiles at him before pushing herself away and going back to the movie, still grinning.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
After the movie she herds the kids upstairs and helps them get ready for bed. She had already put Ellis in her pajamas before the movie, because as she suspected would happen, the toddler was already almost asleep. She tucks her into bed, and reads a good night story to Bailey. Then she goes to check on Zola.  
"Goodnight Zo"

"Your friend is Andrew?"

"He is"

"He's not going to stay on our couch again is he?"

"No, sweetie. He was having a bad time before, he was sad, and now he's not"

"Why is he here then?"

"To spend time with me, with us. He is a special friend and-"

"Like a boyfriend?" Zola interrupts 

"Yeah, like a boyfriend" Meredith confirms

"Can he leave his guitar at home?"

"I think we can manage that" Meredith chuckles

"Goodnight Mommy"

"Goodnight Zozo"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You didn't need to do that" she tells him when she returns downstairs to find he had put away the leftovers and was finishing up the dishes.

"It felt like the least intrusive, and most productive thing to do while I waited for you" he says as he puts the last plate in the strainer.

He kisses her and puts his hands on her sides which causes her to shriek and laugh a little "Your hands are still wet!"

But he has the same feral look in his eyes he had in the elevator when he told her he was going to kiss her and he recaptures her mouth and kisses her intently. She returns his kisses with enthusiasm and he lifts her and sets her on the counter. His mouth leaving hers only to trail kisses down her neck and collarbone. When he pops the top button of her shirt she regains some of her senses enough to slow things down.

"Andrew... hey!" She had been holding his shoulders, but now she pushes against them "We're not doing this here"

He takes a ragged breath and backs up "I have been wanting to kiss you all day. I can try to behave, bu-" 

She slides off the counter and puts a finger on his lips to shush him "I'm not asking you to behave. I'm saying we're not doing this _here_ in the kitchen, where my sisters or kids could walk in on us any moment!"

He grins as she winds her fingers together with his and tugs on his hand to lead him up to her room, and then to her bathroom. 

"I need to brush my teeth" she tells him when he gives her an inquisitive look. She's rummaging around in a basket "Crap. I'll be right back"

It takes her a couple minutes to return "Sorry, I knew there should be extra somewhere" she says handing him a toothbrush still in a wrapper "Purple might not be your color, but it was that or pink with butterflies. If you don't like it you could bring one next time or whatever... but I thought it's better than nothing for now-"

"Purple is fine" he interrupts her semi babbling.

"-because you have onion breath" she finishes, scrunching her nose a bit.

He taps her gently on the nose with the toothbrush before unwrapping it and brushing his teeth.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I thought you weren't going in in the morning?" 

"I'm not"

"Why so early?" he asks as she sets her alarm for 5am before she even lets him kiss her.

"Because" she explains as she starts to unbutton her top "if we fall asleep, I would prefer to wake up before my kids do, so hopefully they don't find you in my bed"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She reluctantly pulls away from his warm body.

"Meredith?"

"I need a shower"

"Should I-?"

"Rimani" (Stay)

"Are you sure?"

She smiles at him "If you want to... but you should at least put your boxers back on. They probably won't come in, but..."

After her shower she climbs back into bed and snuggles in against him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She wakes up to an empty bed around 6:40. She misses the feel of him next to her, but is glad he seems to have heard the alarm go off even if she somehow missed it. Her bathroom feels like he's been in it. She brushes her teeth and then wanders downstairs hoping that some of the noise coming from the kitchen is him.  
Once again she finds him in her kitchen, this time he's making pancakes and talking to Bailey who is perched on one of the stools and laughing.

"Hey" she says with a brief eyebrow raise.

"Good morning" he grins at her.

She plucks her 5 year old off the stool and sets him down with a kiss on his forehead "Go get your sisters" she tells him before stealing his vacated spot "I didn't hear the alarm"

"I woke up a little before it went off. I thought I'd let you sleep a little longer"

"You could have woken me up" she offers suggestively.

"It was only a couple minutes before the alarm and I didn't know how early we might be disturbed"

"Oh... well... technically, when kids are involved, is possibly anytime... but they don't usually wake up before 6... I had already accounted for morning... fun"

"I wish I had known"

"So what did you do for an hour?"

"I came down and watched the news, checked Facebook on my phone, checked in with Carina. Then I decided to make breakfast, only I couldn't find any flour"

"I don't have any"

"You knew you didn't have flour?" now it's his turn to raise an eyebrow

"I don't bake, so I don't buy it unless I need it. The last time there was any bought just to have was when Izzie lived here. It got stuck in the cupboard when she moved out and it lasted almost two years after she left... at which point I knocked it out looking for something and spent a week trying to get flour off of every conceivable surface of my kitchen"

"I don't-" he shakes his head trying to wrap his head around that information "anyway... you didn't have flour, so I poked around in the fridge and cupboards thinking I'd make something else-"

"There's cereal" she offers.

"There is, but I felt like cooking so I made a quick list and went to the market for breakfast stuff and-"

"Mommy" Zola interrupts "Ellis stinks"

"Okay sweetie... I'll be back"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Five minutes later she returns and settles Ellis in her booster seat. "You even set the table?" she asks incredulously.

"Ah, no, that was all Zola"

"Oh, thank you Zozo"

"You're welcome" the girl chirps.

They've all dug into their pancakes when Amelia comes in "This is cozy" she teases.

"Andrew made really good pancakes!" Bailey chimes in.

"Did he now?"

"Amelia..." Meredith glares at her.

"It's nice" Amelia offers "I didn't mean it's not"

Meredith's face softens "Grab a plate?"

"I don't think so... I need a couple things and the I've got to get to the hospital. I've got a big-"

"You said you had today off" Meredith starts to stress

"Last minute. I will be back in plenty of time to watch the munchkins" Amelia assures her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Movie is "Smallfoot" in case you were wondering. I actually had written it in before I saw it, and while the beginning kind of annoyed me (I had rented it for my kids and *promised* I would actually watch it) it actually had some good parts and was going somewhere with the plot. I ended up enjoying it.


	5. Being Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking, Nightmares, Stress cleaning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only started learning bits of Italian for this so... I have used multiple sources and I hope it's okay. If you don't speak Italian then just refer to the translation after the line (in parenthesis)  
> This is about where all the re-working of the story starts messing with timelines so everything doesn't quite fit right (This was originally one of the first times I had her say "I love you" but where it mostly fits into the story it's not that anymore)

They sit on the porch swing while she's waiting for Amelia to return.

"This was nice" she smiles at him "You're pretty good with them"

"They're good kids Meredith"

"Today. Today they are good kids. They have their moments though. They can be hellions"

He chuckles a little "I can't imagine otherwise, no matter how amazing their mother is"

She leans against him.

"Meredith..."

"Hmmm?" she asks turning herself so she can see him.

"I think I am going to end up having to go to Italy... Carina was hoping to deal with things herself, but Papà is being difficult"

"For how long? Carina has been gone..." she struggles to remember exactly how long.

"She's been there almost a month this time, but I am hoping that if I do go we can resolve this quicker"

"Do you think that you'll be long?"

"I don't even know if I'm going yet, but I needed to warn you. I didn't want to wait until I'm heading for the airport to try to tell you"

"Oh"

He brushes a lock of hair behind her ear "I need you to know I will come back as soon as I can. I'm not going to take any longer than is absolutely necessary"

The kiss that follows is tender and sweet. Amelia pulls in the driveway and they break apart.

"Don't go without saying goodbye to me in person okay?"

"I wouldn't dream of it" he assures her

"Will I see you later?"

"I've got some errands to do for Carina this afternoon, and apparently a bunch of things I should get done today instead of procrastinating, but I could still come by when you're back later?"

"I don't know how late I'll be, but I will call you"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Her consultation turns into an emergency surgery that goes until nearly midnight. She manages to save her patient's life, despite not understanding how they managed to survive long enough to even get to Seattle. She texts him.

Meredith: [Just out of surgery. Exhausted. Going to find an on call room for a few hours before my shift starts.]

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She wakes up around 4am from another dream in a cold shake. The erotic ones she could handle, but the nightmare was unexpected and she needs to see him. She fumbles with her phone. Probably she shouldn't call him this early, but she does anyway.

He answers the phone groggily "Hello?"

She lets out a sob of relief.

"Meredith? Is everything all right?"

"Ye-yeah, I just- I had to-"

"What's wrong?"

"Just a nightmare. I'm sorry I woke you up"

"No, dolcezza, it's fine, Are you still at the hospital? I'll be right there" (sweetness)

"No!"

"You're not at the hospital? I can-"

"No, I mean I am, but you stay there. I'll come to you... please"

"All right"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He answers the door and she nearly collapses in relief into him. He pulls her inside and shuts the door. Leading her to his crappy sofa and pulling her into his lap "What's wrong?"

"I-" she takes a shuddering breath and he rubs her back "The worst part about what we do is knowing what it all looks like as things go to hell. In graphic detail"

He kisses the top of her head and hugs her close. She's quiet for a couple of minutes just leaning against him. "I know I'm a little bit crazy, and I have commitment issues that I struggle with, but I love you, and I don't want to lose you. When I woke up, convinced you were dead I needed to hear your voice. I needed to be here with you"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Most of their morning doesn't involve leaving his bed. Their first round of lovemaking had been followed by phone calls. One from Carina asking him to come after all, and Meredith calling out on her shift. She had already been tempted by the idea, but now that he was planning to leave that evening there was no way she was going anywhere just yet. He made eggs while she gave specific patient instructions to someone on the phone. After breakfast there was a _very_ steamy shower, and a nap, and more lovemaking. Throughout the morning in between (and sometimes during) they talk, sort of... making the vague sort of future plans that are everything in that moment, but not enough to count as an actual plan.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"It's after one..." she reminds him gently

He kisses her shoulder "I know, I don't want to leave now though"

"When you come back..."

"When I come back I'm not letting you out of bed for a week" he growls, kissing her neck.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He packs his bag for his trip, and she insists on driving him to the airport. She still hates flying and after her nightmare there is no way she's letting him take the motorcycle today.

She goes home and sends the babysitter home. She plays with her kids and feeds them dinner. After the kids go to bed she does some stress cleaning. Amelia and Maggie show up concerned that she missed work.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Maggie asks

"Do we need to find ways to torture DeLuca?" Amelia offers

Meredith stops what she is doing and stares at them for a moment confused, but then she realizes what it looks like. "I'm fine. Andrew is fine"

"So what did he do?" Maggie asks

"He didn't _do_ anything"

"Mer, honey, the last time you binge cleaned was-"

"I know about last time" she cuts off Amelia "This isn't that"

"You missed work" Maggie points out

Meredith gives up trying to make any cleaning progress with the interrogation squad and puts down her basket "My consult yesterday ended up being emergency surgery, and then I crashed in an on call room, and when I woke up I went to see him"

"And?" Amelia prompts

"And... I called out. I spent the morning being happy"

"And now?" Maggie asks

"Now he's on a plane, heading to Italy on family business for an indefinite amount of time and I already miss him, but also he's currently _on a plane_ so I am kind of stressed out"

"So... you're okay?" Amelia asks 

"I'm okay" Meredith confirms "Happy, just worried" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

She wasn't scheduled Monday, but after taking Sunday off and cleaning her house she felt the need to keep busy. She felt somewhat better when she woke up Monday morning to a text letting her know he had landed safely. 


	6. Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew is back from his trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meredith/Andrew
> 
> Bleh, I just realized some of what I thought I was going to be able to add got overwritten by newer stuff... oops... wellll... I still have quite a bit... I was going to post some of the other stuff, random out of order to tease you, but whatever you seem to for now be getting the closest thing I have to a reasonably ordered story, but don't expect everything to line up just right... Honestly I have no idea how this will all turn out because as I copy it over I am taking out a lot of clunky, junky, filler and at least sort of attempting to make it all work, but no promises... especially as at the same time I have been finding new ideas to fill out other spots, or the same spots, or refill with clutter... I don't know exactly anymore... Some of the new stuff is positioning details, things I never wrote because I didn't need to when it was just mine... and most of my stuff I have read a couple dozen times, so the new stuff is a bit wild card, and this chapter has more than a bit of it. (more after the story)
> 
> I only started learning bits of Italian for this so... I have used multiple sources (to double check) and I hope it's okay. If you don't speak Italian then just refer to the translation after the line (in parenthesis) AND if you DO speak Italian and it's wrong PLEASE let me know a better translation

She works every day of the week and a half he is gone, so when he gets home late the next Wednesday she is more than ready for a long weekend without work. He sends her a quick text to let her know he's home safe and exhausted, but his door is unlocked. When her shift is finally over she arranges with Maggie to have her watch the kids for the night and get them to school the next day. She lets herself into his apartment, strips and crawls into bed with him.

"Mmm" he nuzzles into her neck.

"I thought you were tired" she teases.

"I have my beautiful, naked, lover that I haven't seen in over a week in my bed. I'm tired, not dead"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thursday morning is spent in bed as much as possible. In the afternoon she drags him to lunch and then they return to her house before the kids get home. Their excitement to see that Andrew has returned turns the first few minutes after they come through the door into chaos. Eventually though she wrangles them to the table for snacks and homework. Partway through helping Zola with a science question she realizes he has started scrubbing potatoes. It's an unexpected bit of domesticity that Meredith hadn't been expecting. It was almost too normal, too easy, but she smiles as she turns back to Zola's science book. Being happy is weird.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that night they lay in bed. He's fresh from the shower and in his boxers. She's contemplating the fact that she knows she still needs to get up and shower herself, and figure out where in the room her pajamas are, but not really wanting to move just yet. He's laying on his side and trailing a finger along her arm.

"What?" she asks looking at him "what?" she laughs lightly.

"Sposami" (Marry me)

"What?" she sits up.

"Marry me"

"I know what it means" she clarified.

He sits up as well "I love you"

"I love you too, but I'm nearly a decade older than you"

"And? Would you even mention it if it was the other way around?"

she sighs "It's not about the gap so much... I- My mother had early onset Alzheimer's"

"I think I read that somewhere"

"And I have the gene"

"That doesn't mean you'll get it"

"No, but I'm high risk, and I don't have the best luck, so chances are in another decade or so I'm going to forget- I'm going to lose my marbles and be a crazy old lady in a a nursing home and I won't remember who you are... "

"I'm in love with you Meredith. I don't care if we have a year or a decade or a millennium, I want to spend it with you"

"We don't have to be married for me to love you"

"I know that, but-"

"When I lose my mind-"

" _If_ "

"Fine _if_ I lose my mind, I won't be me, I'll be dark and twisty Meredith. Cranky and crazy and you'll be stuck married to her"

"I love you. I'm going to love you even if you're dark, twisty, and crazy"

"I won't know who you are!" 

"But I'll know who you are"

"No. You'll know who I was"

"Meredith-"

"No"

"Meredith-"

"I'm not discussing this" she gets up and starts to head for the shower.

"You're extremely stubborn"

She stops and turns back "I am" she sits on his lap and kisses his neck.

"That's not a compliment" he says sighing.

"Move in with me"

"I will live wherever you want. If you marry me"

"Andrew..." she leans her forehead against his shoulder.

"Meredith"

"Why can't it be enough?" she asks sitting back.

He sighs again "What are you going to tell your kids?"

"Plenty of people live together in long term monogamous relationships without getting married, even with kids involved"

"People in those relationships usually have kids. Kids who grow up without it being a change"

"Is that what this is about?" she asks. Her voice getting more annoyed.

"What? No. Meredith-"

"Because that is-"

"Meredith, stop. That is definitely not the discussion we're having. I am concerned about how your kids would see this"

"Bailey and Ellis are too young to really know the difference, Zola might, but she's smart. I can talk to her"

"I don't know Mer"

"It will be fine. They will be fine"

"So your plan is for us to just be together for a decade or so"

"Exactly"

"And then if-"

" _When_ "

" _If_ you start to lose your memory I'm supposed to..." he shakes his head.

"Be free to-"

"No" he says setting her on the bed.

"Andrew-"

He stands up and starts getting dressed "If you're not ready to marry me right now, that's one thing, but you can't possibly think I'm going to love you for a decade or so and then just- just walk away?!"

"Where are you going?" 

"Work? My place? I don't know!"

"Andrew!"

He huffs and walks out. She is scrambling to find her pajamas already "Andrew!"

By the time she gets the top half buttoned and follows him downstairs he is already pulling out of the driveway. She sits down on the front steps and cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not one of my favorite pieces, but I am tired of trying to fix this part and it's sort of relevant... I think... I didn't especially like the argument before, but now that I have revamped about half of it... well, I'm still not sure what I think of it myself... I am only a little sorry to leave this here... I know it's mean, but I am already working on typing out the next part, so hopefully it won't give me as much trouble as this part did and you won't have to wait too long.


	7. Ice Cream Is Not Really Helpful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia and Maggie help Meredith sort through some stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More clunky AF 3 party dialogue... sorry... insider tip: if it's not labeled who is speaking and it's clearly not Meredith I use 'DeLuca' for Amelia and 'Andrew' when it's Maggie... if you still can't tell it probably doesn't matter
> 
> Also I may have rearranged history a little accidentally, but I don't care.
> 
> I also know my chapter titles are occasionally weird... but at least I can look at them and know what happens in each one.

She slept like crap that night and had the nightmare again. She knows that she pushed him away, but she can't tie him to her crap. She tried calling him but he didn't answer. She might not be what is best for him in the long run, but that doesn't mean she doesn't still want the time they have. She gets the kids off to school and tries calling unsuccessfully again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It's a little before noon when Maggie and Amelia find her curled up on the couch with a nearly empty pint of ice cream.

"What happened?" Maggie asked at the same time Amelia spoke.

"Yikes!"

Meredith just glares at them both.

"DeLuca is at work in the worst mood I have ever seen him in, and you- you look like hell" Amelia finishes.

"Thanks" Meredith responds dryly.

"Well?" Maggie asks again "What happened?"

"I don't- I..." she waves her spoon a bit and sighs, digging back in.

"Did you break up?" Amelia asks.

"Maybe? I didn't want to... I just..."

"Did you have a fight?" Maggie asks

"I guess you could call it that... It was more of a disagreement, or I thought it was, up until he got dressed and walked out and stopped answering his phone"

"About what?" Maggie asks incredulously.

"He asked me to marry him"

"And it scared you?" Amelia infers "We've all been there"

"Not the commitment part, if I- I just want to be with him. I asked him to move in... but for some reason that's not enough for him"

"You haven't been together that long" Maggie points out "If it's too soon-"

"It's not that. It's good... I love him enough to want to marry him"

"So then why don't you?" Amelia asks.

"Because, more than that, I love him enough not to" Meredith insists.

"You've lost me"

"Me too"

"I have my mother's crappy early Alzheimer's gene. And I am not the person who gets lucky, I am the one who gets it-"

"You don't know that" Maggie tries to console her.

"I will lose my mind and then he'll be stuck married to a stranger"

"That's- Did you explain this to him or just-" Amelia asks.

"I did!"

"And?"

"He says he is going to love me anyway, and that just a long term relationship isn't good for my kids"

"He said that?" Amelia asks astonished.

"Basically, not word for word" Meredith clarifies.

"Hey Mer?" Maggie interjects "Your plan for when you possibly lose your memory is for him to walk away?"

"Yes"

"After what? 10 to 15? _years_ living with you in a committed relationship?"

"I am not saying moving on will be easy, but he should"

"And you really think he could?" Maggie is staring at her like she has two heads by now.

"Eventually. Better that than being expected to deal with my care"

"So... and I want to make it clear that I am not saying I won't, but... that is on me?" 

"I don't know Maggie!" Meredith starts getting loud "Okay? But at least- I don't know!"

"Okay, don't- " Maggie flinches a little as Meredith chucks the empty ice cream carton across the room with a shriek of frustration "It's not just that Meredith. What about the kids?"

"You don't think I worry about them? About what happens to them, how it will effect them when I-" Meredith takes a couple deep breaths "I always thought it would be Derek who dealt with all this and the kids"

"You were okay with it being on Derek, but not Andrew?"

"Derek and I were supposed to have been together like 25 years at that point. Derek was supposed to find a way to stave off dementia! We were already married before I knew for sure that I even had the gene, and they're Derek's kids. So yeah I was willing to put it on Derek" Meredith huffs.

"But Mer, you aren't asking Andrew to just walk away from you. You're asking him to spend a decade or more, never knowing until it's too late whether or not you'll even get it, with you AND your kids. Ten plus years of basically being their father. Ten years of loving not just you, but those kids too. You're asking him to go all-in and then just walk away from you _and them._ He won't be able to do that. Nobody worth being with could. I think he's just smart enough to see it now"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still am not completely happy with it, but it suffered a bit from the last part being rewritten and me trying to fix that going into this... This time I am being mean and leaving off for at least tonight... maybe even tomorrow, it will probably depend on how stressed I am tomorrow. I promise 8 will be better...


	8. Real Glasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith confronts him and they make decisions about the future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meredith/Andrew
> 
> Job interview today... I need to distract myself a bit first... I know I am going a bit full speed, but if I leave it too long I start getting anxiety, so I am trying to get it all out before I freak out too much
> 
> Things to note that I can't begin to figure out how to subtly convey right now: Amelia has moved back in and is sort of dating Link... but the rest of the last 3 episodes can go take a flying leap as far as this story goes. I hadn't written anything new in a month because of that mess. Probably next season I will be better with how things were left, but for now... I am ignoring all of that... at least as far as the stuff that happened centered around the fallout from the camping trip and the insurance problem... Also just no to the entire thing with his dad... because I had already written most of my craziness that requires Andrew to take more than one trip to Italy and also because the baby-in-a-bag thing just makes me cringe... 
> 
> Maybe more... I probably ought to fix the whole thing, but if I decide to do that now you'll probably never get any of it and I still have at least one part coming up... my absolute favorite part of the whole thing... that I want to share so it's gonna be a bit of a bumpy read and I'm sorry. Maybe when I am done I can fix it up, but for now you just get the parts as they are.

The next afternoon she finally manages to corner him in an on call room. "You don't answer my calls, you don't text me back, and you've been deliberately avoiding me all day" she can tell he's still pissed from his glare, but she needs to know "Are we just over then? Because you can't just disappear. If you want out say so"

"Meredith, I-" He shakes his head "I needed to try to wrap my head around this. I'm not sure you know-" he sighs and pulls her close "listen, if you don't want to get married right away that's one thing, but please don't just tell me never"

"Andrew..." she sighs "I..."

"Even if we don't actually get married... wear the ring. Be my fiancé" he offers pulling back to see her face.

"There's a ring?" she asks curious.

"Of course there's a ring" he grins at her.

"I am miserable without you" she admits.

"Not as miserable as I am"

"I'll marry you, but you can't say nobody warned you when I lose my mind and you're stuck dealing with my care team and dealing with Ellis's teenage drama by yourself" she warns him.

"Duly noted" he grins and teases her "You know if I had known the ring was that big of a deal I could have told you the other night"

"It was never about a ring Andrew. I really do want to marry you. If I hadn't been worried about the other stuff I would have said 'yes' immediately"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She's just finished tucking the kids into bed and came downstairs. He has lit a fire and set up champagne (in her actual champagne glasses she notices with some humor at the memory of plastic cups on the rooftop) "You don't think mid June is a bit late for a fire?" she teases.

"I thought it seemed appropriate"

"Sure" she says sitting on the floor near him "It's nice"

"Hey" he says softly, catching her attention. She turns to find him holding up the ring "Marry me?" he asks

She nods and he slips the ring on her finger. He kisses her softly for a moment "Is everything all right?" he cuts his eyes upwards.

"I told the kids"

"Oh?" he hadn't expected her to dive in so readily. Though he supposed that is how she was with everything, once she made up her mind so he probably should have expected it.

"Zola had a couple of concerns, but I think she's okay now"

"Anything I can help with?" he offers, moving behind her to rub her shoulders.

"Actually, there might be" 

"Oh?" 

"She is worried about what to call you"

"What's wrong with Andrew?"

"Well, generally they don't refer to adults by just their first name... They've all been calling you Andrew, but..."

"Now that we're getting married..."

"Yeah, Zola remembers Derek, so it's different than the younger kids. The younger ones probably would be okay with anything, but for Zo..."

"I don't mind either way, if it makes them more comfortable to keep calling me Andrew it's fine, but when _they're_ ready, if they want to... I always figured when I had kids I'd be Papà"

"That makes sense. It didn't occur to me I guess, and I didn't realize you would have an answer that easily"

"You don't think guys contemplate parenthood?"

"No, I know they do, it's just not something I thought you had- when?"

"When what?"

"You said 'when' you had kids"

"It's something I had thought of"

"I don't-" she turns around "Andrew, I'm- I-" she can't finish her thought and she looks worried.

"Hey" he says stroking her arm "breathe, and use words Meredith"

"Are they enough for you?"

"What?" 

"It's not that I don't- I just-"

"Words Meredith" he reminds her again.

"I love you, and theoretically I'm willing to consider- but... I don't know, and if we can't- are they enough for you?"

He pulls her close, and hugs her, and rubs her back "Dolcezza, I'm not going to say that the thought of another hasn't crossed my mind, but mostly I just meant in general. But yes, okay? If there are never any more, those three, beautiful, amazing kids upstairs are enough"

When she finally relaxes and is ready to talk again "There is a part of me, and it's not a small piece either, that wants to have a baby with you... but..." she leans on him for a couple minutes in silence while she contemplates the rest of her thought "But... I'm almost 40, I've had a variety of trouble with getting and staying pregnant. At one point the phrase 'hostile uterus' was used... And I still believe I'm going to lose my memory, and if we- I was 26 the first time my mother asked me who I was. I am terrified of the day I don't recognize my own kids, and- if it's a decade from now... Zola won't even be as old as I was, and I can't even imagine if I had been a teenager, let alone a kid"

"Mer, we can take it off the table entirely. I didn't entirely realize how much of an issue it was"

"I am not saying that. If I never- If I didn't want to at least be able to contemplate it I could have taken a more permanent step years ago... I also have crazy sisters who live with me"

"I- I know about your sisters?" he says slightly confused.

"Yeah, well... I am just putting it all out there. The sisters live here, and while I don't have quite the same open door policy I used to since I have the kids, but still anyone who's ever lived here knows they can crash here if they need it... and sometimes that is nobody, but there is always a possibility..."

"Is there a list somewhere?" he teases her

"Only up here" she taps her head "Izzie, Alex, Jo, Cristina, Jackson, April, Callie, Arizona, Maggie, Am-"

"That's a little longer than I expected I guess, but-"

"It was longer, but ghosts don't generally ask to crash on the couch" she sighs

"Mer, I'm not scared of any of this. Not your brain, not your sisters or kids or any we may or may not have, not people I have never met crashing on our couch or even your ghosts"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... because of the rearranging I had to do with ch 6... this is also rearranged... so once again I am left with something I haven't read a dozen times that I am not quite sure about...
> 
> Fair warning just because they've made up again doesn't mean it's the last conflict they're getting ;)
> 
> This is all you get for now, because I have to go try to be an adult today


	9. Wedding Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith and Andrew talk about the wedding (lil bit fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meredith/Andrew
> 
> Oh guys... I hit that point... where I am completely freaked out and I don't know what I'm doing and am panicking... WHY? I have so much more already written.  
> Well, it needs work, but seriously I am more nervous now than when I started this... also I mapped out the chapters and got an estimate for you (currently 23, but after writing out most of this I am thinking it's going to up to 24 already) BUT I realized the problem is I don't know how this ends... so that's fun...
> 
> Dialogue heavy... I know, I know... I just can't help it. 
> 
> As always if you speak Italian and the translators I use are giving me bad information please feel free to help me out

He's leaned against the headboard and she's snuggled in against his chest trying not to fall asleep just yet.

"What do you think about October?" he asks.

"For?" she yawns, and stretches

"To get married" 

"Oh" 

"Well?" 

"I guess it depends on what you want to do" she answers, turning to face him.

"Other than getting married?"

"I meant-" she pokes him "If you just want to go down to city hall we don't need to wait. If you want a _small_ actual wedding then we should decide the details and then pick a date that lets us do that"

"I was leaning towards a real wedding, preferably in an actual church"

"A church?"

"Yeah, I don't go often because of the crazy schedules, but I do go"

"I didn't realize... I don't- Not that I don't believe there's more, I just don't necessarily think that anybody has better answers than anyone else. But I've never burst into flames in a church or anything though... so if it's important to you we can do that. Small though. I cannot emphasize that word enough"

"Small" he agrees

"Actually small" she clarifies

"How small is 'actually small'?" he asks

"I don't know, less than 20 including us and the kids"

He laughs "Mer, the word you're looking for is 'tiny' "

"Ok, a _tiny_ church wedding" 

"Or we could do it outside" he offers.

"I can do a church if it's important to you" she repeats.

"You said you don't go, do you have anywhere you ever go?" he asks.

"Not really. Not unless you count the hospital chapel. We are definitely not getting married at work... You said you go sometimes. Where do you go?"

"It's too big for what you want, and it would be..." he trails off unsure how he wants to finish his sentence.

"It would be what?" her curiosity is piqued.

"Outside will be easier" he offers.

"You said you wanted a church?"

"I thought you might have one. It's fine"

"I don't under-" her brain clicks finally "You're Catholic?"

He gives her an amused look "Cosa altro c'è?" (What else is there)

"Okay, no I don't feel the need to convert" she snuggles back into him "But if we're doing and outdoor wedding in Seattle, our best bet is July, maybe August. That wouldn't leave us long to plan anything and Carina and your father are in Italy, unless you want to wait until next year?"

"Considering you want tiny I think we can manage in a couple months. We're used to flying back and forth, I am sure Carina can make it"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually avoid religious stuff in my writing because I know I can't do most of it justice, and I don't want anyone to be upset by my portrayals. However I do think in this case I kept them fairly close to what would be most in line with their character and I know more than one couple that has been told they can't get married in a Catholic church without the spouse converting.


	10. Shopping and Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dress shopping, lunch, girl talk (Mentions of Amelia/Linc)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that my posting has slowed down a bit, blame a combo of mid story panic and real life... and real life panic (I can't decide if my interview went really well, or not, and I won't know until sometime next week) I had to take some extra time today to turn a bunch of random thoughts into something resembling an actual chapter, but hey I feel like my 3 party dialogue is improving a bit. Maybe it's just me.

Meredith doesn't know how this happened. She hadn't really intended to worry about what anyone else wore to the wedding, or traditional wedding roles, but within a couple weeks of telling her sisters they had convinced her to not only go shopping for a dress for herself (with a promise that it wouldn't be fancy) but somehow before they even got to look at a dress for her, they had spent 45 minutes picking out matching sundresses for her daughters, which meant of course that Bailey needed a suit. Then instead of simple they kept pushing long and flouncy, which she rejected as there was only so much they could convince her of. 

"Can you _please_ at least try to find something you think I would actually wear?" Meredith asks exasperated.

"This one's pretty" Maggie says, handing her a long white dress "So who's Andrew got?"

"Got?" Meredith asks confused "Maggie, this is far too long, too fancy, too white"

"Well obviously you have Amelia and me. What are we wearing by the way?"

Meredith sticks her head out of the changing room and shakes the dress at her "I don't care, I wasn't planning on having a wedding party. Now please, shorter, less lace, more color"

Amelia exchanged the dress for one she had just found "You can't not have a wedding party, we're your sisters"

Meredith sighs as she takes the new dress "Fine, whatever, if you two really want matching dresses that badly"

"What color?" Maggie asks.

"This is better. Too short, still white, but better... I don't care what color" Meredith answers "Where's my phone?"

"Let us see it" Amelia demands, handing her the phone.

Meredith comes out to grab the phone and sighs "Too short, too white"

"It's nice" Maggie offers "So he doesn't have anyone yet?"

"I don't think so, I will text him okay? We don't exactly have a lot of time to make decisions. I didn't realize this had to be such a big deal" 

She changes out of the dress and texts Andrew while she waits for them to find her something else

Meredith  
[Why did you let them talk me into this? ]  
[Why can't I tell them 'no'? ]  
[So far I've bought outfits for the kids... ]  
[Spent far too long trying on dresses... ]  
[And let them talk me into being bridesmaids ]  
[So apparently now you need a couple guys ]

Andrew  
[I know better than to try to stop your sisters]  
[But you could, if you don't want those things...]

Meredith  
[Funny]

Andrew  
[So I should...?]

Meredith  
[I guess you need 2 groomsmen]

Andrew  
[I already have them ;) ]

Meredith  
[You're lucky you're cute :p ]

Amelia returns and hands her a dress "Here try this" 

Meredith takes the dress and looks at it with a critical eye "This is nice, it's pink, but it's nice"

"Barely, it's 'ivory blush' it only looks pink compared to all the white dresses. I think once you put it on you'll hardly be able to notice the color" Amelia shrugs.

Meredith takes the dress back into the booth and glances at her phone before trying on the dress "I could wear this" 

"Well, let us see then" Maggie demands.

Meredith steps out and turns around at Amelia direction "So Andrew says that since the guest list is so limited and he doesn't have any close friends outside the hospital, he asked Jackson and Link" she tells them.

"I like it" Maggie says.

"He asked Link?" Amelia's voice goes up a notch

"Well, he and Andrew are friends" Meredith reminds her.

"Yeah, but- I- We-" Amelia flails for words.

"Amelia, I know you're not dating anymore, nobody expects you to do anything with him other than be civil" 

"We were never dating" Amelia reminds her "That was part of the problem... He wanted to either be something or not, and I am not ready to be part of something again"

"So what's the problem then?" Meredith asks.

"The problem is that I... still... would like to be what we weren't, but he's stubborn, so now we're 'friends' and it is... difficult..." Amelia explains "I like this one. We should go get lunch"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Over lunch Meredith told them about the plan for their honeymoon, a week and a half in Rome, with a day trip to the smaller town his family lived to visit his Nonna. 

Andrew had explained when she admired the ring that his grandmother was looking forward to meeting the woman he had decided to marry. Considering she couldn't travel anymore and had given him the family ring he wanted to make her happy and Meredith was glad to meet her. His great-great grandfather had made it himself for his bride and she had passed it to her grandson to propose to Andrew's grandmother with. Since he was the oldest grandson she had passed it on to him. She insisted that as both her, and his great-great grandparents' marriages had been long and happy that it was a lucky ring. 

"So it goes to the oldest grandson?" Amelia asks spearing some of her salad.

"Yeah, well... Andrew said when the time comes we should just say the oldest grandchild, he doesn't care about gender... or whether or not it's biologically either of ours"

"Is that uh, - is that a possibility?" Maggie asks looking up. 

"Maybe? We don't know, I've had a lot of problems, but uh... we've talked about it a bit..." she took a sip of her drink "Let's just say we've decided that I'm not packing my pills for our honeymoon"

"Are you serious?" Amelia asks.

"We- this isn't going to be weird for us is it?" Meredith asks.

"No, no! I am just a little surprised you're jumping into this so soon, when less than a month ago you were freaked out about marrying him. About him being left with the kids you have if something happens to you"

"Yeah, well, you guys were right of course. We don't have anything promised to us no matter what. Cars, buses, planes, cancer... and if something happens to me, then at least they have each other. But like I said, I don't even know if anything will happen, and _if_ we are going to, I want to have it sooner than later" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A week and a half before the wedding she's on call, and for the first time he's left to be 'dad' by himself. From tucking them in that night to getting the older kids ready for their carpool and driving her car to work the next morning he finds the whole experience a little surreal. He finds Meredith fresh off her shift by the elevators. He pulls her in for a kiss before handing her Ellis and her car keys.

"Is the house still standing?" she asks only mostly teasing.

"It was when we left" he answers wearily.

"I know it's a little crazy sometimes, but this was your first time and she's pretty presentable looking, you got through it. It gets easier" she assures him.

He leans his forehead to hers "Are you sure you really want to add to that chaos?"

"Don't you?" she whispers.

"Yeah, I do" he kisses her forehead before heading off to his shift

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She never regrets not having a real wedding the first time, but she has to admit this is kind of amazing too. The garden is beautiful. The cake is taller than she had intended for it to be, and she doesn't know which sister decided to get the larger cake, but it's a good thing they did because it's a really good cake and she's fairly certain that there are definitely more than 30 people there _not_ including the wedding party, but still small enough that it doesn't seem too crowded. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Link thing didn't go where I thought it was going to... I'd offer that it will get better, but honestly right now I don't have any idea where they're going.
> 
> I think the next couple chapters are probably just typing instead of writing, but we will get there either way.


	11. Baby Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby stuff... I am fairly sure you were well warned...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More translated Italian, I don't speak it, so translations are done by a combo of an app and double checked with google, after the line (in parenthesis) if you don't speak Italian the (probably awful) translations will be enough and if you know a better translation I would gladly take advise on them.

A couple weeks after they get back Meredith starts to suspect they aren't going to have to wait for very long, but she's only a couple days late and while she hasn't felt the greatest, so far she hasn't actually thrown up at all, and it could just be her hormones trying to get used to not being on the pill anymore. So she is waiting to say anything.

They are in a surgery together. Three hours isn't that long, but her feet are killing her. She's toughing it out but towards the end a wave of hunger hits her and makes her feel worse again. The idea of another 45 minutes is just too much. "Doctor DeLuca, are you set to close?" she asks.

"Doctor Grey?"

"Will you please finish up here?"

"Is everything all right?"

"Thank you. Page me when you're finished and I will talk to the family with you?" She exits swiftly hardly waiting for an answer.

She rushes out, pulling off her gloves and scrub cap. Finding the nearest bathroom she loses her lunch. Once she feels a smidgen better she rinses out her mouth and goes in search of food. If she hadn't just thrown up the smell of the cafeteria would have been too much, all but cementing her suspicions. She grabs a sandwich as fast as she can and tries to make her escape. Helm tries to slow her down with questions about a patient but Meredith makes her "Walk and talk" and shakes her as soon as she can. She takes her sandwich and heads to the attendants' lounge.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning Andrew wakes up to her frantically freeing herself from their entanglement of limbs and blankets, a slam of the bathroom door, followed shortly by the sound of her vomiting. He pulls on a pair of jeans and goes and raps on the bathroom door with his knuckles "Hey Mer? Do you want me to go buy a test?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

5 months later

"Do you know how hard it is to read while you're doing that" she asks him ruffling his hair.

He looks up at her "Questo è importante" (This is important)

"Sì, lo so, ma ora?" (Yes, I know, but now?)

"She was already distracting you" he points out.

She puts her book down "Okay, I give up"

His eyes darken and glitter. He starts to suggest "Well, since you-"

But she interrupts him "No way" she laughs "Sei quello che ha insistito per cantare alla nostra bambina" (You're the one who insisted on singing to our baby)

He hangs his head and shakes it, faking shame "Come tu richiedi" (As you request/demand) he then starts singing the lullaby again. Afterwards he moves back up lays next to Meredith who he thinks fell asleep.

"It's a good name" she mumbles.

"What is?"

"Stella"

"Yeah?"

"It's kind of perfect for our bambina"

"Are you even awake?" he asks.

"No, but remind me tomorrow"

He laughs and turns off the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I named Stella at the same point Meredith did. I had looked up Italian lullabies and came across "Stella, Stellina" at which point I realized it's pretty, It's Italian, it means "star", it's classic, but not super overused and fits well sound-wise with her other kids names...


	12. Frittelle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family fluff and baby stuff

Breakfast, as the meal they most often managed to take as a family, especially on mornings Andrew has time to cook, has become one of the highlights of her day. Not just because she cares about pancakes or french toast (though she definitely enjoys that part too) but watching them interact together. Some mornings he works by himself, swiftly and methodically making breakfast appear while still leaving her- _their_ kitchen looking like nothing even happened. While other mornings she finds one or more of the kids helping. Those mornings the kitchen looks like a pancake bomb exploded and things are less likely to look like something you would want to eat, but somehow while teaching them and letting them make messes and do things the slow way instead of taking over on them, he manages to keep it not just edible, but if you couldn't see it, you wouldn't know the difference. He gets them to wipe up their spills afterwards to help them develop good habits, and then after they're off to school or to play he makes sure everything is actually cleaned properly.

All of that is great by itself, and every time she finds one of them helping him cook her heart melts a little more. The other part of it though, is that while they cook and eat they have started teaching the children Italian. It had started, like many things do with Zola of the million questions. Andrew was determined to make sure the baby got a head start on being bilingual, so often when he spoke to her belly, it was in Italian. Zola of course had noticed and then quickly picked up on the fact that her mother understood it as well, so she started asking questions at breakfast. "What's the Italian word for pancakes?"

Meredith and Andrew exchanged a mildly surprised look "Pancake is _frittella_ , pancakes is _fritelle_ " he answers her.

One question turns into many and within a few weeks the questions evolve into short phrases and eventually most of the conversations over breakfast are translated as they go along. With Zola and Bailey attempting their own translations and the adults helping them along the way.

It's during one of these mornings she is watching Zola help make pancakes that the girl plucks up her nerve enough to drop a word she had asked her mother for into a question "Per favore passa il burro, Papà" (Please pass the butter)

Andrew's hand stills on the butter for a second as he realizes what just happened. He and Meredith make eye contact and she gives him a little smile "Ecco il burro" (Here is the butter)

"Grazie" (thank you)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that night Zola asks her if she thought he had noticed and Meredith reassures her "He noticed"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure"

"He didn't say anything..." Zola frets.

"Well, what do you think he could have said?"

"I don't know..."

"I saw him. He definitely noticed. I think he just didn't know anything to say. He didn't think you wanted him to make a big deal out of it"

"I guess not... I just- It was okay right?" 

"It is Zozo. Remember the night I told you I was going to marry him? You told me you couldn't call him 'daddy' and were worried that he might think you should?"

"And you promised I wouldn't have to"

"That's right. I talked to him that night, It's what he calls his dad, and what Stella will call him. You don't have to, but and he told me that when you were ready that's what he would like. He suggested it for you and Bailey and Ellis months ago"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That night he is reading to her belly again. This time he has a book he had Carina bring back for him the last time she came. His childhood copy of "La Fabrica Di Cioccolato" (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) She runs a hand absentmindedly through his hair as she half listens to the story. "Andrew?" she says slowly.

He stops reading and looks up at her.

"I think Stella needs to be the last" she adjusts a little on the bed in an attempt to get comfortable "This- I love this... I could do this forever... but the rest of it this time... I don't know if it's because I'm older or what... but this is the hardest pregnancy I've had, by far. I'm so uncomfortable all the time. I'm still getting sick and- I just don't want to do this again. It's too much"

He scoots up the bed to hold her "Meredith, you don't have to justify this. We will have four kids. That's not a small family. I absolutely love this baby, and you, and the older kids, but seriously I don't know where we would put any more. I don't know how we manage now sometimes. I am more than okay with Stella being the baby"

"Yeah?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I was thinking if I sign the papers now I can have a tubal ligation after she's born, when it's easiest"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After rough delivery (although she did manage to stay conscious) Meredith was more than glad they had decided they were done. Even if Stella is beautiful, and watching Andrew in awe of their newborn is one of the best things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on cleaning up the notes, and stuff... I hope to get the next couple chapters up tomorrow or by midweek


	13. I'm not a Doctor, I Don't Even Play One On TV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New baby woes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uggghhh Now that I'm posting I keep finding spots where I was way more heavily influenced by earlier seasons than I had intended... damn... uhhhhh... anyway, it is what it is I guess.
> 
> I just realized even though Jo gets mentioned a few times unless my rewrite of a section changes something or I add something new she really doesn't get an actual appearance. I should probably fix that.
> 
> Anything to do with Jo was written before she looked up her birth mother, so in this universe she doesn't know (and probably never will)
> 
> MAJOR thanks to sentichefuoripiove for the help with correcting my Italian in this chapter.

Stella is a fussy baby. The only one who can get her to fall asleep most of the time is Andrew. Putting her down almost always results in her waking up howling again. Meredith ends up developing an infection and her medication nearly kills her milk supply. Stella already hadn't taken to nursing and did much better with a bottle anyway. So while it was frustrating giving up on nursing actually helped Meredith not lose her mind entirely.

After their 6 week appointments where the pediatrician insists she's healthy, and her OB/GYN tells her she is _absolutely not_ cleared for sex, or surgery, or even driving yet, Meredith takes Stella to go visit Alex while she waits for Andrew or Amelia to get out of surgery to take them home. "Her pediatrician says she's healthy" she tells him, clearly not entirely sure she believes it.

"Some babies just need extra attention Mer" he says cradling his goddaughter.

"Okay, fine, but you're going to hold her for 20 minutes because she isn't crying for a change and I need a power nap" she stretches out on the couch.

"I have a ton of charts"

"Please Alex? I swear this is the first time she hasn't been crying in two days. I will owe you big time... and you know you're going to be cashing in on that soon enough"

"What makes you think-" he starts to deny.

"Oh please" she yawns "Jo hasn't touched alcohol or coffee in two months, she went from always grabbing the same thing for lunch to random things and never finishing them"

"Fine, I'll take her for a walk if you don't tell Jo you know. She wants to wait to tell people"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It takes nearly 3 months for her infection to fully clear up and her to get cleared for normal activities she takes a shift, which makes her feel more normal than she has in months. She exhausts quickly though and after only an appendectomy she calls someone in to cover her shift and falls asleep on the couch in the attendings' lounge.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A week later they've not had much time for anything and they're still exhausted and grouchy. 

"We need a night to just be us again, to reset... besides our anniversary is Friday"

He stops and looks at her and he doesn't even need to open his mouth because she can read his face "We _make_ the time. I'm not back on the regular rotation yet. You and Amelia both have Thursday night off. I will hire a babysitter for the evening. We will go out to eat, and check into a fancy hotel, that we will probably only spend a couple hours in, before we start worrying that the kids have tied Amelia up and are running wild, and we'll just be us for a couple hours"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dinner Thursday night is nice if a little subdued. They're both tired and have little to say that the other hasn't already heard. By the time the check into the hotel room she is fighting exhaustion, but this is the first time in almost four months she has had to be with her husband and she's not missing the opportunity.

Afterwards she realizes she pushed it, but in the moment it seemed like a couple good orgasms might relieve some of their tension. It's not that the desire wasn't there, or that they don't both finish, but it's definitely the most mediocre sex she's ever found release in. At least she waits until after to cry.

He sighs "I'm going to call and check on the kids" he leaves the room to call Amelia.

"We're fine" Amelia reassures him "The only one who will probably wake up tonight is Stella. I'm up reading anyway. I've got night shifts for the next week, and I knew I was babysitting tonight, so I slept earlier, and I'll sleep tomorrow. If anything I can't handle comes up I will call"

"Are you sure?"

"I've got this DeLuca, get some sleep" she encourages him.

Meredith is already asleep when he gets back to the room, so he just curls up with her and falls asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They wake up the next morning to the sun shining in. 

"Oh! What time is it?" Meredith asks.

He looks at his phone "6:30, I'm going to be late" He gets up and starts grabbing his clothes.

"I can't believe that we fell asleep"

"I checked in with Amelia, they were fine"

"Oh god! Please tell me I didn't fall asleep before we..."

"No, but we probably could have used the extra sleep"

"Oh... oh! Yeah... that wasn't..." she trails off as their lackluster interlude pops into her memory.

"Not really. No."

Meredith gets up "I'm not tired now" she offers raising her eyebrow suggestively.

"Sleep was amazing" he tells her "and I'm sure when we have time for it sex will be amazing again too. But I'm supposed to be at work already"

"You're already late" she points out "What's a few more minutes?"

He looks up from tying his shoelace "Nice" he huffs.

"Andrew..." it's soft, an apology, a question.

"Quando faremo l'amore di nuovo, ho intenzione di assicurarmi che ho avuto il tempo di farti venire correttamente, ripetutamente, fino a quando-" (When we make love again, I'm going to make sure I have the time to make you come for me properly, repeatedly, until-)

"Until what?" she asks her voice catching.

"Until the only tears you cry are of ecstasy" he finishes.

She wobbles a bit and sits down on the bed "Okay that's definitely not a fair way to leave me, on our anniversary no less"

He kisses her thoroughly "I will make it up to you tonight?"

"You better"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That evening however finds him calling her to apologize on his way to the airport. Carina had called him, insisted he was needed again. Meredith was disappointed, but understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to do at least a little research on everything, but sometimes the course of action I set in play might be highly unlikely because, well... check the title of this chapter...
> 
> Also... more bumps ahead...


	14. Facetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith and Andrew chat via Facetime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning of the over the top part... and I am heavily editing it from what it was, so hopefully it is still okay... 
> 
> Apologies in advance... The next few chapters (assuming I am right about how much of what will be in which chapters) you're going to need to trust Andrew and me.
> 
> Also as of chapter 13 I have published 10,000+ words and it's already the longest thing I have ever written and only half done (plus I think I have 2 follow ups instead of posting them as part of the same story)

"Zola and Bailey start school on Tuesday" Meredith tells him via Facetime "I am going to take the girls to daycare and get some paperwork done, maybe even get in a short surgery. I miss cutting"

Andrew chuckles in return "Yeah, that's one of the downsides of being stuck here, I'm falling behind, I'm not going to be ready for the boards at this rate"

"I would think being away from your family would be the downside" she says sourly.

"Meredith, you know it is. I said it was _one_ of the downsides"

"Any idea yet when you're coming home?" she asks.

He sighs "I wish I did, but with everything here..."

"So what does that even mean?" her tone is getting clipped "Another week? Two? A month?"

"I don't know! Do you think this is fun for me?!" he snaps at her.

"Well, that's great! Let me know if you ever figure it out!" she snaps the laptop closed and tosses it onto his side of the bed before shrieking in frustration.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Every time the talk it starts out with her giving him updates on the kids and quickly devolves into an argument, which leads to longer gaps between calls. At first the calls are twice a week, then weekly, then it's almost three weeks.

"Are the kids trick-or-treating tonight?" he asks her.

"Amelia and Maggie took them to a Halloween party. I don't feel well"

"Yeah?" he asks.

"Zola is Katherine Johnson"

"Who?"

"She and her friend Chloe watched some movie about NASA? I don't remember, but apparently she was brilliant. Zola has found several books about her now"

"Right, I saw that movie" he smiles "What about Bailey?"

"Bailey is a pirate. He was disappointed to realize his Star-Lord costume is finally too small, and it was too late to find another one. Ellis and Stella are Alice and The White Rabbit"

He smiles again, and then asks "What about you?"

"I'm just in bed" she sighs.

"But what were you going to be?"

"I was going to go as a crazy lady with four kids, because I didn't have time-"

"God, Meredith, how hard would it have been to at least put a little effort into making the holiday fun for the kids?" his dig gets to her, even though she had promised herself she wasn't going to let him stress her out tonight.

"Are you kidding me? Are you freaking kidding me?! In the last nearly three freaking months! You've not spent more than ten minutes at a time on chat with me. Not once spoken to them. You've been gone MONTHS. You missed your daughter's first Halloween, and you still aren't giving me any indication of when you are coming home! Are you going to be back for Bailey's birthday? Thanksgiving? Ever? I'm working my ass ragged at work to the point where I am literally sick. Jo is already on maternity leave because of complications, you are in freaking ITALY, Richard broke his leg last week. I am down to ONE other general surgeon and a bunch of freaking interns who can't operate on their own. I have to pull people from other specialties just to cover emergency surgeries and nothing beyond that. I haven't had a day off in three weeks!" She huffs and continues " I _did_ make it fun for the kids. I found them costumes. I found them a damn party and made sure they could go. Ellis cries _every single night_ because she misses you. I've finally gotten Stella to sleep in up to 4 hour stretches, but it doesn't help because Zola is having nightmares!"

"Damn it!" he breathes deeply "Meredith, dolcezza, I'm sorry. There is nothing I want more than to be home with you and our children. I am doing my very, very best to make that happen and I'm sorry I am not good enough to be back already. I know you're doing an amazing job. You are the best mom and I love you. I have to go... I have a meeting and I'm already running late. I'll call again in a couple days" then her screen disconnects.

Meredith isn't really sure what the hell that was about. He seems to always push her buttons lately, but he hasn't apologized before this time. not really. She contemplates calling Cristina, but she's just mentally and physically exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually started making headway on getting a little more ready than I am posting, so hopefully even if my brain melts I can keep updating. My goal is to have two more full chapters ready to go and be started on a third before each post, so theoretically if I can't write much you still have a little wait between chapters, but not as long. However once I get my buffer fully written, then if I write 3 chapters in a day I will still probably post 2 or 3 of them. I am writing as fast as I can because I know in a couple weeks school will be out and if I do get a job I won't have as much time to work on this. And for now it keeps me from stressing until I hear back.
> 
> Movie referenced: Hidden Figures (If you haven't seen it, it's really good. And I wanted to at least temporarily give Zola a different interest than medicine)


	15. Burning House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another nightmare and some other stuff happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to decide how to transition between the last chapter and the second half of this one and the radio provided the answer...
> 
> My chapter buffer is making me work faster because I WANNA publish what is ready so I am currently writing chapter 18 as of this posting, but then I still want to publish 16 so I gotta finish getting the next part done and the next part...

Meredith wakes up to Amelia trying to figure out what the hell is wrong. She looks around confused "Oh god" she shudders in relief.

"What is going on in here?" Maggie asks as she comes in the room.

"A nightmare" Meredith explains still shaking.

Her sisters climb in on either side of her.

"The house was on fire... and I knew everyone was in here somewhere, but I- I couldn't find anyone..."

"Do you have nightmares often?" Maggie asks.

"Not really, I never have time for dreams usually, especially lately. Usually I have two basic dreams. Watching someone I love code while I am on the wrong side of the glass when I feel like I am losing them, or-" she cuts herself off.

"Or?" Amelia prompts.

"When it's been too long... I start having sex dreams"

"O-kay then!" Amelia smirks a bit.

"So what does the fire mean?" Maggie asks.

"I think it probably represents everything feeling so out of control lately. I've been stressed out with Andrew being gone. I've been sick, I haven't time to work on getting my body back, I haven't lost the baby weight from Stella and I've been stress eating. Yesterday I had to grab a bigger set of scrubs. I don't even know what that's about, Lexie used to stress eat, but I don't."

"PMS?" Maggie suggests.

"Maybe? My cycle is still out of whack from Stella"

"Mer? Are you sure you're not pregnant again?" Amelia asks tenatively.

"No. Thank God. I had my tubes tied when Stella was born. I'm a mess and my husband has run off halfway across the frigging world and I don't even know when, or if, he's even coming back... That would be the last thing I need right now"

"Maybe you should get checked out then" Amelia says "You could have something seriously wrong with you and you're ignoring the symptoms"

Meredith ignores her and turns to Maggie "Why are you here?"

"Uh, because you screamed and woke up half the house?"

"No" Meredith waves her hand about "I mean at the house this time of night. You and Jackson aren't fighting are you?"

"Oh, No. He's on call tonight and Amelia and I were talking after the kids went to bed and it got late. It didn't make sense to drive back to an empty apartment" Maggie explains.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

At her sisters' insistence on Monday, even though it's not how she wants to spend her day she makes time to see her regular doctor who checks her over and orders some tests.

Two hours later they find her in a bathroom, sitting on the floor by the sinks, too tired to go any further from the toilets

"So they're running some labs, but basically her advise was to 'reduce stress', 'get some sleep', and 'try to be aware of my eating choices' so that was a complete waste" Meredith tells them.

Maggie tosses her a pregnancy test from her lab coat.

"I told you I can't be pregnant"

"Humor us" Maggie insists.

Meredith rolls her eyes at them and hauls herself up and into a stall. She comes out a minute later and sets it on the sink "There okay?"

"Thank you" Maggie answers.

"I think I-" Meredith cuts herself off and rushes back to the stall. After she's lost the last of her breakfast she comes out and rinses out her mouth "I think I need to give up for the rest of the day and head home"

"Yeaaaah..." Amelia drawls "Except first, I'd say a trip to OB?" she nods at the test on the sink now sporting a little pink plus sign.

"What? I- No. NO! Nonono! Oh God, it's probably cancer"

"Okay breathe, we're going to go run an ultrasound before any panicking happens" Maggie offers her.

"We haven't even- I mean we did, but-"

"Mer?"

"On top of the rest of the mess that is my life right now, our post baby sex life has been less than a highlight. We've literally had one disappointing- before he ran away"

"He didn't run away. I'm sure-" Maggie starts to reassure her, but Meredith is freaking out enough that continuing is pointless.

"I let him in. I let him convince me of forever. I married him, bore his freaking child, we had _one_ crappy night, where he apparently knocked me up _again!_ And then he flew halfway across the globe and has only called me a handful of times. He's probably found some- some cagna puttana to shack up with, and is never coming back leaving me to deal with 5 kids and probably cancer alone" she finishes with a hiccup. (whore bitch)

"All right Meredith, lets go" Amelia puts her arm around her "You're so tired and hormonal you can't even decide which path you're taking with this test"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meredith is still ranting by the time Maggie starts the ultrasound "He's in Italy, ignoring us, probably _sleeping_ at night!"

In any other moment Amelia would have laughed at the idea that actual sleep was something to accuse him of, but right now is not the time.

As Maggie zeroes in on a point of interest Meredith is ignoring the screen "He's got a bed, and a girlfriend, and she's probably young, and pretty, and had a meal in the last month wearing a shirt that doesn't have some sort of fluid from a small child that you don't want to know what it is!"

"Mer-" Maggie tries to interrupt her.

"It's cancer right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song that inspired the dream/title: Burning House by Cam
> 
> I probably ought to apologize for the language in this chapter...
> 
> I honestly don't know which type of cancer could/would cause elevated HCG levels, but for anyone wanting to complain that she would know better I refer you to their intern year and the massive tumor guy who took the pregnancy test to amuse his wife. Even if it couldn't actually work that way, it is canonically possible, so *shrugs* plus hormones and lack of sleep can make you crazy...


	16. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's cancer right?"

"Oh, it's definitely not. You're what? Three months along?" Maggie asks.

"If I'm a day" Meredith starts laughing "literally" then she starts crying "I just started to think I get to be happy again and I'm right back where I was. Pregnant and alone"

"Meredith, DeLuca isn't dead" Amelia bites, the silent _'like Derek'_ hanging in the air.

Meredith's face draws into the tight angry face that makes most residents run in fear "No, but he isn't here where he should be either, and I am still alone. Only now instead of raising three kids alone I have _five_ to think about!"

"Six..." Maggie injects quietly.

"What?!" Meredith turns to look at her confused. 

She doesn't even consider what Maggie is telling her at first. Maggie moves the head of the ultrasound around a little while Meredith and Amelia both drop their jaws as she points out both heartbeats on the monitor.

"Oh. My. God"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meredith tracks down her OB/GYN, Dr Alvers who is as confused as she is "I don't understand, your records don't show you having that procedure"

"What?" Meredith asks "You knew I had surgery, that's where the infection came from"

"I'm sorry. I don't know how this happened. I was out 2 weeks after my brother died... According to your records you had an appendectomy that week"

"An append- I haven't had my appendix since I was a resident" Meredith scoffs at her.

"You- Damn it-" Dr Alvers flips through the record and swears again "Dowb..."

"Excuse me?" Meredith wants answers.

"While I was out the new guy, Dr Dowb... He- Aren't you on the board?"

"Yes, but I have been a little busy lately" Meredith reminds her.

"Dowb was here all of a week, luckily for the hospital he was considered an independent practitioner. The hospital isn't responsible for his actions"

"What did he do?" she asks, not that she doesn't have a decent guess already.

"He was past due to retire, but with the current staffing issues..." Dr Alvers trails off.

Meredith wants to bang her head on the wall, this problem needs fixing FAST, of course this would somehow come back around to that... "And?" She prompts.

"Some of the more... confusing... procedures, he either forgot what he was doing or... I don't know. He ended up having a stroke a couple days after he was fired. So no one is really sure what was going on with him. Seattle Pres. had just let him go the week before apparently, and there was a big public blowup. Unfortunately there is still no way to know exactly how many, or which patients he operated on without checking individual files"

Meredith wants to scream. She is ready to roll heads at the next board meeting, whether she has to drag all four kids to it while she pukes into a trashcan... Actually that would serve them right. Yeah, she's been busy but this was a BIG thing. Something someone should have mentioned to her. If it was public knowledge it was probably part of why their staffing crisis had gotten worse in the last few months. If they had told her when it happened she would have recognized the name... She could have checked her file more closely before assuming the tubal would protect them. Okay, so yes, she realizes that she should have checked her records herself anyway, but she knows her aftercare instructions were for the right procedure. She realizes she's off in her own thoughts and her doctor is still talking. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You said you needed to book a primary visit, but if you want we can do an ultrasound now and get you started" she offers.

"Let's do it"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Once Meredith is changed and the doctor has returned to the room she explains "I had Dr. Pierce perform a preliminary ultrasound before I came here. My sisters insisted I was pregnant, and had me take a test, which was of course positive. I believed it was impossible. I was sure it was cancer... but they were convinced... So I let them do the ultrasound, and... babies..."

"Dr. Pierce is cardio right? It's usually a good idea to get a more practiced doctor to determine pregnancy" Alvers admonishes gently.

"Yeah, I know, but we all know the difference between a 12 week fetus and nothing. And Maggie knows hearts, even fetal hearts, and there were clearly two of them fluttering away" Meredith reminds her.

"Fair enough. Let me just take a look, okay? I need to make some notes for your chart"

Meredith hemmed noncommittally, but stared patiently at the ceiling while the doctor moves the probe around and makes notes.

"Okay then, Dr. Grey" Alvers finally gets her attention and she watches the monitor, still trying not to freak out. 

"This is baby A" she moves the probe a little "this is baby B, and this..." she adjusts it again "This is why you don't get a cardiologist to do your ultrasound, AKA Baby C"

Meredith just whimpers.

"Are you all right Dr. Grey?"

Meredith shakes her head "Nope. Not even a little... Please tell me you are done. Please"

Dr Alvers puts down the probe and helps her wipe off her stomach "I'm done"

"Good. Great. Thanks..." Meredith rambles in a bit of a daze "Can you have them book me my next appointment, Tuesday mornings again preferably please? Call and leave it on my voicemail... I'll get it... I'll be here, but I- I just need to go find- I have- _so many_ heads to roll... Hey Doc?"

"Yeah?" Alvers asks tentatively.

"Is there any reason I shouldn't fly?" Meredith asks her.

"Fly?"

"Yeah- yeah... Go get on a plane... Go to Italy?" Meredith clarifies.

"It's really not a good idea, not with triplets, definitely not that far. I'm sorry"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Three hours later her sisters find her in the attendings' lounge. 

"Hey you... Helm and Schmidt were looking for you earlier. I thought you went home" Amelia says.

"Nope. Just sitting here, waiting for your ex-husband" she cuts her eyes to Maggie "or your boyfriend to come through"

"I don't think either of them are here today" Maggie shakes her head, confusion palpable "Why are you looking for Jackson or Owen?"

"I need someone who I trust, who has actually been to board meetings in the last few months to explain to me what the hell has been going on in my hospital while I was on leave" Meredith explains.

"Oh, I think there was some big scandal, they have their hands full" Maggie offers.

Meredith makes a strangled noise "That! That's the problem! You live with one of them and you didn't even know... I've got my hands full, I'm on the damned board, they don't need to pester me with the mundane details, but I should be at least informed of big issues... They don't have any idea what having their hands full would even look like!" then she whimpers again "I don't even know... oh my god... I am so screwed"

"It's okay Meredith" Amelia reassures her, hugging her shoulder "You know you have us right?"

"Is there anything either of us can do for you?" Maggie asks.

Meredith takes a deep breath "Well, since I am not allowed to fly, how do you feel about going to Italy to try to track down my husband?"

"Track him down?" 

"Before I went to see my doctor I tried calling, but he doesn't answer... and Carina isn't answering... I called the hospital where she works in Italy. Apparently she hasn't been there for months, and they've never heard of Andrew. I almost just went, but I decided that maybe I should get cleared to fly. Since she didn't clear me to fly, I guess it's good I checked first"

"I can go" Maggie agrees.

"Thank you... but don't tell him... about the babies... I don't want to scare him off"

"I am certain there is something keeping him there, but I will figure it out and try to get him home" Maggie insists "Mer, he adores you. I really don't think he abandoned you"

"I don't want to think that but I can't fathom anything else right now" she's been fairly calm for a couple minutes, but now her voice cracks a little "Oh, and Dr. Alvers says I shouldn't have a cardiologist do her job, because it's not twins"

"We all saw that though right? She must have missed one" Maggie insists defensively.

Meredith hands her the print she's been clutching "No... you did"

"What?" Maggie shakes her head trying to understand.

At the same time Amelia hollers "Oh my god!" and snags the print from Maggie to get a better look.

"Yeah" Meredith says "Amelia, I need your help with something else"

"You need my room?"

"No" Meredith assures her "I mean... maybe? No... Maybe I need to buy a bigger place... ughhh. I'm not kicking you out. I have a bigger favor to ask"

"Bigger than kicking me out? Should I worry?" Amelia looks confused.

"I've had some really rocky moments during my past pregnancies. I'm over 40, carrying triplets... I want Addison"

" _You_ want Addison?" Amelia asks incredulously.

"Wouldn't you?" Meredith asks.

"Yeah, okay... You want me to see if she'll come for a consult?"

"I know I am never going to be her favorite person, but I am hoping she will come anyway. I need her. I need to be told my babies are going to be okay by the best"

"I can try. I'm not even sure she's still in LA" Amelia warns her "We haven't exactly kept in touch since I left"

"She is, I googled her" Meredith wiggles her phone.

"You want her here...?"

"As soon as possible" Meredith clarifies "Take a copy of my file... I don't care what you have to say or offer her. I want her here. Tell her I begged... because I will"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When she gets out of the shower that evening Meredith looks in her full length mirror. Turning and checking her angles. Now that she knows it seems obvious. She isn't carrying all in the front like she had in the past, but considering there are three in there she isn't surprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally every fanfiction I have ever composed (in my head, on paper, typed out) published or not has been about babies or angst... sometimes both... but mostly babies, and while yeah cancer would be angsty I guess I don't do cancer, because, well, FUCK CANCER... ugh... I mean I can't say I would never end up writing it in to something (else) ... anyway, Addison has been tagged since chapter one was published, so if you didn't notice that then maybe... surprise? but... yeah...
> 
> Also I realize the scarring would leave a different pattern they would notice, but blame it on Meredith's lack of sleep, much like the not checking her record over. Creative liberty, whatever, I have way too much left that made no sense if you take this away from me.
> 
> Also Also, in addition to not being a doctor, I am also not a lawyer... nor do I play anything on TV... If you want really accurate details of how a convenience store fried chicken shop is run, I am your gal... anything else just go with it :)


	17. Oceanside Wellness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia heads to LA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been quite a while since I actually watched Private Practice so I might muck a little up, especially timeline-wise, but since Bailey just turned 5 and this is set 2 years later and Amelia showed up at the dream house when Bailey was an infant I think it works. I did rewatch a little of the last half a season (my memory for details wasn't this good lol)

Thursday Amelia heads to LA. It has been nearly 7 years since she had last seen Oceanside Wellness. It was oddly familiar and yet completely different. The reception area has been completely remodeled and the girl behind the desk looks like she was in junior high when she had last been there. In an overly perky voice the girl asks her if she has a referral to talk to her friend. Not that she told the girl that part. She is trying to explain when a small tornado of shrieking 8 year olds come running in. She knows they're 8 because there are three of them and they're followed by a disheveled looking Coop, so she's fairly certain that it's Rachel, Caroline, and Georgia... A good sign if there was one.

"Amelia?!" Coop comes over and hugs her.

"Hey Coop" she grins.

"Tell me you're bored of big hospital medicine and coming back?"

"Not likely. I'm head of neuro now and I'm working on treating brain tumors with lasers. We've had a few success stories. We're still tuning the process though. It works pretty well on small stuff, but it's the complex ones that are giving us trouble, and those are the ones we need to be able to get"

"Wow, that's really great" 

She turns and gestures in the direction of his office, where the girls had gone "So the girls are huge!"

"Yeah, yeah" he grins with paternal pride "But even crazier? Mason just started his first semester at UCLA"

"No way, he's- really old enough for college..." she trails off in disbelief.

"So we haven't seen you in forever, what- uh- what brings you back here?" he asks.

"I am actually here to beg Addie for a gigantic favor"

"Are you?" his eyes flick down.

"No. No, not me... Is she here today? The receptionist is not very forthcoming"

"As far as I know... let me check" he offers.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After Addison's initial surprise at seeing her, and a hug, she shuts the door "So, what's going on?"

"I need a favor"

"Are you pregnant, or trying to get pregnant?" Addison asks her.

"No. I'm- I'm still a bit terrified..." Amelia admits "and I have plenty of- No. I am here to ask you for a consult on behalf of a friend"

"You could have called, or just referred her here" she offers.

"You didn't by any chance hear about Dr. Dowb?" 

"Yeah, I still keep in touch with a couple people in Seattle"

"Well, she can't come to you" Amelia explains "He botched her tubal. She already has a full house, including a 6 month old. Now she's just found out she's 3 months pregnant with triplets, over 40 and has had past complications. She knows this pregnancy is very high risk. She knows you're the best and wants you. She sent me to beg on her behalf, for you to come to Seattle and tell her that she and her babies are going to be all right"

Addison protests "I really hate Seattle"

"I know, but she needs you. She said she doesn't care what I have to tell you or offer to get you there, so I am going to also mention that her husband took off on their anniversary. Supposedly to help out his family, but he hasn't come home for 3 months and he doesn't answer calls. When he does call it's short and he's giving her the runaround. She's a huge mess and I honestly think she would be happier to see you than her husband at this point" 

"See that's dirty pool" Addison gripes "You know I am coming. Two round trip tickets and two nights at The Archfield"

"You might want to raise your rate Addie" Amelia warns.

"If I have to spend any amount of time in Seattle I will"

Amelia hands her the file and Addison puts on her glasses before taking it and flipping it open. "Are you freaking kidding me?" she leans forward "You suck so bad right now. You made me feel sorry for her before you told me it was Meredith Grey on purpose!"

"I'm not an idiot" Amelia shrugs.

"And you're really friends with her?" 

"She's my sister" Amelia tells her "I am closer to her and Maggie-"

"Maggie?" Addison interrupts her.

"Dr. Margaret Pierce, she's Ellis's biological daughter. Meredith and Maggie are my sisters. I am closer to them than I am my actual sisters... It's been a crazy few years. I had a brain tumor, got a divorce... broke up with my ex-husband"

"Okay, okay, I already agreed to come, but I did change my mind. I've decided your fee"

"You name it, she's willing to pay" Amelia reassures her.

"That's good, but in addition to the monetary cost to her, I am extracting a fee from you as well"

"I don't understand?"

"I assume you have a card of hers that you can use to pay for this plane ticket and whatever?" Addison asks.

"Yes" 

"Good. Jake and I have a function to attend tomorrow night, but we can fly out Saturday. Tonight however, Meredith is picking up the tab for ladies night. You, me, Violet, Charlotte, and Nae are going out for dinner and you are going to explain why you dumped James and ran off to Seattle. Your marriage, divorce, tumor..." 

"That's a lot of information to cram into one night, a lot of _personal_ information..." Amelia protests lightly.

"Maybe so, but we were close for 6 years and then you disappeared on us. I think you owe us... especially since you only showed back up to ask me to do a favor for one of my least favorite people and I have graciously agreed to do it"

Amelia calls to let Meredith know that Addison has agreed to come, and it will be Saturday before she gets home, and not to freak out at what is sure to be an astronomical dinner bill.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ladies night is more fun than Amelia had expected, even if they are giving her the 3rd degree. These woman had seen her through her darkest days and talking to them again is extremely therapeutic. She explains why she left, and her roller coaster relationship with Owen, and her brain tumor. She tells them all about Betty and Leo, and then spends half an hour bragging about Leo and smart he is. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Friday evening Amelia is feeling restless and doesn't really have anything to do. After lunch with Addison she had gone shopping at a couple of stores she used to frequent, but now she was in her hotel room bored out of her mind. She turns on the TV and flips through the channels hoping to find anything to distract her for a while. After a couple minutes she gives up and puts it on a music station to listen to while she tries to decide what she wants to order something from room service for dinner. Giving up she decides maybe to just call it an early night, but she still wants something so she gets up with the intention of heading down to the corner shop for a bag of veggie chips instead. She sits on the side of the bed to pull on her boots and sits on the remote. A familiar phrase echoes behind her. She grabs the remote up with the intention of flipping back to the music, but instead stares at the infomercial trying to remind herself it's a coincidence. "It's even Friday" she tells the TV. 

Amelia is in the cab and halfway across town before she can talk herself out of it. She steps into the room, hands shaking. She doesn't even know what she's going to say to him. _'Oh God, what if he's here with someone else?'_ She decides it was a bad idea and she is just going to peek at him, and leave before he sees her. He isn't there. "This was a stupid idea anyway" she says out loud to herself, closing her eyes and giving her head a tiny shake at her stupidity.

She turns to leave and he's right there. Not just in her line of site, but right in front of her. She stops quickly to keep from running into him, and they stand far too close. Amelia thinks she should probably take a step back, but being in his personal space again is overwhelming, and a little amazing, and she can't quite convince her feet to move. 

"Amelia" he says her name softly, like she hadn't broken his heart.

"Uh, hey" words fail her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to recruit Addie for my sister" she explains, happy to have words to string together for this at least.

"I meant right here, right now" his voice is still soft, but she can hear the note of bitterness trying to creep in.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you"

"Did your TV tell you to come again?" his lips twist a little, the slightest hint of a grin. He's teasing her.

"Actually it did" she closes her eyes for a moment "But I probably shouldn't have. I was just going to- I wanted to just see you. I didn't have a plan. I didn't- I just-" crap, her words are lost again. She didn't want to sound like she was stalking him.

"You need some really, really good fries" he offers "with an old friend?"

"Yeah" she nods a tiny bit "I really, really do" her voice breaks a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to hurry up and finish this so that I can actually update my phone without worrying about the app I used to write this and losing all my work


	18. The Chair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia and James scene...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've been reading this you should recognize this starts with the bit I had posted as a drabble much earlier when I thought it was a bunch of disconnected scenes still... Slightly edited back to it's original non-drabble form before continuing into the rest of the story
> 
> The old spot is now just a note so I don't confuse people by removing a chapter and mess up the chapter numbers

The next morning with the sun shining in his bedroom she unwinds herself from his arms and puts on coffee. She takes a cup and curls up in the living room chair. Her chair. He _hated_ this chair, _insisted_ that they were not going to keep it when they moved in together, but she loved the chair and had won the battle... and then it had been the first place they had made love in the new place. He had moved since she left him, but he still had her chair. She contemplates her life choices. Obviously she can't undo any of them even if she wanted to, but would she? She doesn't regret having had a chance to work with Derek and spend time with him his last year. She doesn't regret how close her relationship with Meredith and Maggie, or how close she is to Meredith's kids. She doesn't regret saving Britney, or how much she loves Leo... And of course she doesn't regret not dying from her brain tumor. Part of her wishes she could undo Owen, or at least some of it... 

"You're thinking too hard for this hour of the morning" he teases her.

She looks up and smiles at him "Hey there"

"I don't have to be to work until 2. We could go back to bed" he suggests.

"I have a flight to catch"

"Will you come see me again? Or will it be another 7 years?" he asks.

"I don't know" she scrunches her nose, and tilts her head a little "Is this that kind of thing? I don't even know what it meant this time. I'm a different person than I was 7 years ago"

He pours himself a cup of coffee and fixes it methodically "Why did you leave me?" he finally asks.

"I was scared" she states simply.

"Of what Amelia?"

"Wanting too much, failing, life"

"Are you still scared?"

"Yeah" her voice is soft, barely audible.

"Do you still love me?"

"Yeah"

"But you're different?" he struggles to understand.

She sighs and stares at the ceiling for a second, trying to figure out how to explain. Finally she takes a deep breath and wiping a tear she had tried to not let loose, before finally answering "The short version, I guess, is that after I left you I wasn't in a great place for a while. I slipped a couple times, but I've been sober for 4 years now. It's still hard, but I'm so much better at identifying my triggers, and keeping track of my real joy. The actual things that matter... but- after I left I was alone and that sucked. I felt like I wasn't good enough to make good things happen for myself. Then I met someone. And I thought he made me happy" she pauses, wondering how open she wanted to be about Owen, but remembers that it's James she is talking to, James who always understood that the other parts of her life were part of who she was "I loved him, and my time with him helped me in some ways, or maybe it didn't matter, maybe- maybe I was just at the point where I was ready? I don't know. I didn't run when I wanted to, I actually married him... I thought I was ready for babies, and then I thought I was pregnant. I freaked out all over again... basically burned down the entire relationship, I pushed him away rather than explaining why I couldn't deal with it, why I changed my mind so fast... And the thing is-" she takes another deep breath "The thing is as good as it made me feel when we were together, the crashes and the lows... Owen was another bad habit. I would be so miserable and I would get my shit back together and he'd say something nice to me and I was right back there... and not everything was bad, but he's- not right, not for me, no matter how hard we tried." 

Amelia tells him all about the crazy year of her divorce and the kids and Teddy "...He's a great guy, but he's a dick at relationships... and oh yeah, I had a brain tumor"

"What?!"

"Yeah, it was huge, at least a decade old, not responsible for all my bad life choices, but not exactly helping either. I had it taken out about 3 years ago... and now that I have babbled at you nonstop and told you a lot of things you probably didn't really want to hear about..."

He shakes his head "I haven't exactly been living like a monk here... but I still miss you. I would very much like for you to come visit me again, or maybe I can come visit you some time?"

"I'd like that"

"What time do you have to leave?"

"I'm supposed to be meeting Addie and Henry at 9:30 for breakfast before we go, and I need to get across town and grab my stuff and get a shower. I should leave by 8:30 at the latest"

He glances at the microwave clock "I can work with that"


	19. Stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Week 13/14
> 
> Addison comes and Maggie returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my knowledge of triplet pregnancies is from watching Addison, and it's been a while... my details might be fuzzy or wrong, but this is what you get *shrug* 
> 
> If you're here for realism you're probably in the wrong fandom anyway
> 
> Also I suspect that Andrew's comment pre-elevator stating he's a senior resident means they intend for him to be an attending sooner than later, but I decided that for my purposes he's just second half of his residency to fit the fact that he debuted as a first day intern AFTER Ellis was born and she's like 3 ... there is still some messiness to it no matter what, but at least it smooths it out a little.

~13 Weeks~

Addison examines Meredith, does her own ultrasound, and runs a couple tests. 

"So far everything looks fine. I do agree though that we should be monitoring this pregnancy closely. No heavy lifting at all. If it's more than ten pounds, it's someone else's problem"

"How-"

"How big is... Stella?"

"16 pounds" Meredith answers dejectedly.

"You can hold her, for now, but don't lift her. And don't overdo it. Knowing your limits is important _especially_ with the baby, it's too easy to forget. If you want, I will remote monitor you. I can keep track of your labs and order tests from LA, and come back once a month for an in person exam and if you need me for anything else... and I'll plan to deliver them. You were right, I am the best person for this job"

"Thank you Addison"

"Visits with your regular OB every week- and if anything is off call her, call me, and get to the hospital" she takes off her gloves and stands up "And _no_ surgery whatsoever"

"I have no staff, I-" Meredith half laugh/half sobs "I had one general attending left in commission and he cracked under the pressure and quit yesterday"

"I don't even want you in the OR, you shouldn't be on your feet for hours on end, and you need to avoid stress, which I understand is already impossible with your home situation, but you don't need to add to it- Why don't you have staff?" Addison asks despite herself.

Meredith takes a few deep breaths "We were short handed already, and now Richard is out with a leg injury, I have one on maternity leave, one got offered a better job at Seattle Pres., Bailey is taking up some of the slack, but she's the chief and can't do everything either. She's trying to hire more general surgeons, but right now we aren't getting a lot of applications, the negative publicity lately seems to be scaring people off... Alex and Hunt are helping with emergency overflow, but with my last attending quitting..."

"What about residents?" Addison asks

"Only one of the senior residents declared general and he-" Meredith shakes her head "I have been roping in others anyway, but with the boards coming up they're mostly focusing on their specialties. I have been supervising junior residents, I have two I actually trust to not botch moderately complex procedures"

"What's wrong with the senior resident? If he isn't competent by now..."

"It's not that. He's good, but he's an-" she puts a hand on her stomach "They don't hear yet right?" 

"Not for a couple more weeks" Addison confirms.

"Good- He's a really good surgeon, great with patients, but he's also the asshat hiding out in Italy"

"Oh"

"Yeah... so you don't know any general surgeons looking for a job do you?"

"I don't think so, but that- all that, is Bailey's problem now"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~14 Weeks~

"I can't believe I finally got around to spending a week in Italy and it wasn't a vacation..." Maggie gripes lightly to Amelia as she drops her bag in her bedroom before going to update Meredith.

"I don't know what is going on" she starts in, frustrated at her inability to have made anything happen for Meredith "I went to where you said Carina worked and nobody there has seen her since before she called Andrew. I spoke to a couple friends that assumed she was back in the states. I talked to the police, who were spectacularly unhelpful as they have no reason to believe he's actually missing. I did find one officer who was willing to put together a few notes in case anything comes up. I checked with Carina's landlord who said he actually did see Andrew, but as far as I can tell it was the day he got there. He went looking for Carina and she wasn't home. The landlord gave him a note she had left for him. He has no idea what the note says, he only saw the envelope. You said you spoke to Carina at one point, but she's not answering calls either"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Andrew doesn't call that week, or the next, and when she realizes it has been over a month her anxiety spikes her blood pressure causing spotting and landing her on bed rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> getting close to the end now :) By the time I post this I should have just two more chapters to type up and the epilogue...


	20. Rings and a Virtual Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia and James talk and Andrew finally gets back in touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG thanks to Sentichefuoripiove for helping me with the Italian grammar.

Amelia and James had been taking turns flying out to see each other on the weekend and have been getting close again, but when Meredith goes on bed rest Amelia isn't comfortable leaving her for the whole weekend and it's too much travel for one night. So they are only getting every other weekend together. His second trip in a row he is trying to find the willpower to leave her bed Sunday afternoon.

"I wish you could stay" she whispers.

"I wish you meant that" he whispers back.

She sits up "What makes you think I don't mean it?"

"Amelia-"

"I was serious" she hits him with her pillow.

He tosses the pillow aside and pulls her down for a kiss "Serious like you wish I would, but wouldn't know what to do if I did, or like-"

"You could easily get a job here, we've got a great trauma center, and general needs all the help they can get"

"Are you sure?" he asks his mind whirling.

"When I left, it was because I didn't think I could be the person I was trying to make myself be. It was who I wanted to be, but not who I was. I really don't think we would have had a chance then. If I had stayed- I think I would have made you hate me. I really do. I'm ready now, I know myself better now. I've had time to heal. I want to be with you. I want the life we used to plan together. Only, for right now, I really can't leave... and if you really, really want to stay in LA I will come to you, but it's not going to be until after the babies are born, and I will really miss them. I would prefer if you were willing to move to Seattle. So when I tell you that I wish you could stay I really mean it"

"I'm not changing jobs and moving a thousand miles for my girlfriend"

She sits back "Wow- okay- well..." Amelia has a hurt expression on her face. She starts to stand, but he pulls her back down.

"What I meant-" he says flipping her onto her back and kissing her "-is that kind of move needs an engagement ring with it"

"Oh" she whispers

"I don't know if-"

"It's in my jewelry box still" she assures him.

"Is that okay?" he asks.

"Yes! Absolutely" she kisses him.

He walks over and opens the lid "You uh- have a bit of a collection going on here" he comments.

"I know. I keep Ryan's because it's all I have. I kept yours, I intended to give it back and then never got to it. After I left Owen the last time I sold my wedding band, but since the ring was his aunt's I am going to give it back, but legally it's mine, and while he finally stopped being an asshole, and has moved on a while ago, I had forgotten I had it. I'll bring it back to him tomorrow and by this time next week it will probably be Teddy's problem"

"I'm sorry, I was insensitive" 

"It's fine" she insists "Just get over here already"

"I don't think so" he says pocketing the ring.

"What?!"

"Have dinner with me tonight"

"Is this one of those things where you make a scene?" she tips her head.

"Yup"

"I don't know... You might have to convince me that's a good idea"

"Oh I have a few ideas on how to work up an appetite" he offers suggestively as he stalks back to the bed.

"That would probably work" Amelia nearly purrs.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~20 Weeks~ (Jan 2)

After nearly a month of bed rest Meredith is frustrated that she can't take care of her kids. Her sisters and friends have been a huge help, and dear, sweet Zola is helping as much as she can and trying so hard to set good examples for her little siblings. Boredom has also set in. She can't concentrate enough to read, so she spends a lot of time on her laptop, binge watching Netflix documentaries, FaceTiming with Cristina, and in a last ditch effort to distract herself she has taken up playing games on it. The problem being that so far they either raise her blood pressure or she loses interest quickly. The best compromise so far seems to be Stardew Valley. It was entertaining enough as first, but she doesn't want to explore the caves so she has run out of things to do other than redecorating. She is trying to decide between spending a couple of 'days' rearranging her farm again or just taking a nap when she gets the notification about a FaceTime call. She opens it without thinking and is surprised to see Andrew instead of Cristina.

"I'm sorry I couldn't call sooner" he apologizes.

"What the hell?" 

"Meredith, did you send Maggie to look for me?"

She looks away.

"I couldn't call before now. A lot has happened"

"Is there someone else?" she asks bluntly, still unable to look at him.

"No, dolcezza, I promise you. There is no one in the world for me but you" he assures her.

She looks back at him, noticing he looks exhausted "Then why? What could-" she starts crying, angry and heartbroken sobs.

"Meredith, look at me, please" he begs in both languages "Guardami per favore" 

She finally calms down a little bit "I don't understand-"

"I can't tell you everything-" she starts to look away "wait, please listen. I can tell you more though"

She takes a shuddering breath "I will listen, but you've put me through hell, so this had better be damned good"

He touches the screen with his fingertips "Mi dispiace. Mi manchi da morire" (I'm so sorry. I miss you so much)

She closes her eyes.

"I can't give you all the details yet, and I can't come home yet, but both will happen as soon as possible. What I can do is explain, a little, and I can talk to you every day, for more than 10 minutes"

"I don't understand" she repeats shaking her head.

"I was being held. I don't understand all of it yet myself... and what I do understand I can't talk about until after the trial. I just need you to know that every time I didn't answer, or pissed you off so you would hang up, everything I did that upset you was to keep you and our family safe. I couldn't take a chance that he was bluffing when he threatened you. I just- If Maggie hadn't convinced them to look into things, I don't think- but I'm safe now, and hopefully things move along quickly now and I will be able to come home soon"

"I thought so many awful things... I don't even- and you've missed so much here"

"I want to hear everything. I want to hear it all" he assures her.

"All of it? There is a lot... oh wait-" she shoves the laptop aside and rushes off. When she returns a couple minutes later she's careful to not let the camera catch her expanding waistline, not yet. She settles back in.

"Are you still sick? What's wrong?" his concern is written all over his face.

Well... that's a loaded question" she hedges.

"Meredith?"

"I am on bed rest"

"For what? What happened?"

"Do you remember Dr Dowb?"

"The name sounds familiar, but I can't say I can place it" 

"He worked at Grey+Sloan for a couple weeks, he was older, confused or something. He shouldn't have been operating... he was all over the news for about a month apparently"

"How did we miss that?" he asks "And what does that have to do with anything?"

"We missed it because we were drowning together with an infant who never stopped howling... She is so much more fun now that she doesn't cry every waking moment by the way"

"Awww" he smiles "I can't wait to be home"

"Anyway, the reason you recognize the name is that we met him. He's the doctor that 'preformed by tubal' " she uses actual air quotes where she knows he can see them.

"Is that why you had the infection? I thought that cleared. Are you still having complications?" he asks concerned.

She hadn't anticipated him not catching on yet "Well, Dr Alvers does think that it could have been the source of the infection, but it cleared up"

"Oh, good, so what's-" he stops and she can almost hear the gears in his brain click into place as he slowly starts talking again "You're... on... bed rest... oh... Meredith?"

She nods.

"I- damn!" the curse is followed up by a string of Italian too fast for her to quite understand.

She flinches a little at the outburst. She doesn't really blame him, but had hoped he wouldn't freak out so hard for just the idea of one, how is he going to take the news that they're nearly doubling their kids.

He notices and stops "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. We will figure it out" he assures her "I was swearing because before I even got to the hospital that day I regretted leaving you alone in that hotel, but I kept telling myself 'later'... Then Carina called, and every step of the way I have regretted it more. So many times I have wished I could go back and spend our anniversary in your arms. And I didn't believe it was possible to want that more than I already did, but now... oh babe, I wish so much that I had. That our bambino came from a time that caused you tears kills me"

"Oh Andrew... yeah, great sex would have been good, but I wasn't sad, just exhausted... and we will have amazing sex again... eventually... not for another six months or more, but eventually"

"Is there a problem with him? Why are you on bed rest?"

She smiles a little. After all this time and worry she's enjoying this moment of happiness, and she wants him to know, so she teases him a little "What makes you think it's a boy this time?"

"I just think it would be nice, but either way... Do you know yet?"

She chooses her words carefully "Well, they're a little hard to get a read on so far gender-wise" she takes a deep breath and drops the other metaphorical shoe(s) "but... at least one of them is... the other two refuse to cooperate so far"

He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. He just kind of blinks a bit.

"Andrew?" she asks "Andrew?"

When he still doesn't say anything she smooths her hand down her belly, which at five months she already looks like she's due any day "I think I broke your papà" she says to them. 

Meredith moves the laptop around so it's at the right height for the camera to capture her baby belly. She stands and turns a little to give him a good shot of the bump and then settles back into bed. "It's okay that you're stunned... I spent most of the day in a daze when I found out... Ok... I'm going to call Maggie. You let me know when you can talk again?" She grabs her cellphone and dials Maggie's number.

"Is everything okay?" (Their new standard greeting)

It's great Maggie, I have Andrew on FaceTime. I wanted to let you know that he's all right, and thank you for being persistent enough to find someone to look for him. He was in danger and -" she suddenly starts sobbing great wracking sobs which triggers three things to happen at once.

"Meredith?! What's wrong? Damn it! Who's at the house? Shit... Meredith? Is Amelia there? Meredith?!" Maggie tries to figure out what happened and who she should call for help.

Heavy footfalls in the hallway followed by not Amelia, but Jackson, trying to figure out what's wrong, and Andrew finally snapping out of it and also trying to calm her down.

But she can't stop crying. Jackson barely spares a glance at the laptop but grabs the phone off the bed. He talks to Maggie while Andrew tries to console Meredith.

"She's apparently talking to Andrew. I'm not sure what set her crying, but she won't stop"

"The last thing she said was that he had been in danger. I think it just hit her all at once. She needs to calm down though" Maggie frets.

"Yeah" Jackson agrees.

"Who's home?" 

"Just us. The older two are at school and April was a godsend this morning and took Ellis and Stella for the day when she came by to pick up Harriet"

"So you can drive her in if you need to?"

"Yeah- yeah, I can do that"

"Call me back when things are settled" Maggie requests.

"Yeah, love you" he hangs up the phone.

Meredith has stopped shaking at least. Andrew is talking to her and she's calming down. Jackson knows a handful of Italian now as it has been slowly infecting the rest of the family, but at this point Harriet knows more of it than he does from playing with Ellis. He certainly can't follow their conversation. "Meredith?" he tries to get her attention.

She wipes her eyes and blinks up at him.

"Are you going to be okay? Should I take you to the hospital?" he asks.

She takes a couple deep purposeful breaths "I am calmer... I just- If something had happened to him, I might have spent the rest of my life being angry at him for something he couldn't control and-" she takes a coouple more deep breaths trying to retain her calm "Can you please get me a glass of water?"

"Yeah, of course"

When he returns a minute later with her water she has closed the laptop "He has to go give a statement, but he's going to call later" she takes a sip of water "Mmmph" she makes an uncomfortable face and rubs the side of her stomach.

"Are you okay? I feel like we should go have you checked out"

"Mmmmhh... yeah, but... I'm sure this is just..."

"Okay. Hospital it is" Jackson insists "You can't just ignore-"

"Not ignoring" she hisses "just... ahhh... call an ambulance okay? It's probably nothing, but I'm not taking any chances, not even just to the car"

"Shit. Yeah, I got this" he grabs the landline handset from the kitchen to make things easier and calls rescue and talks to them. While he does that he texts Maggie to let her know what is going on.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next thing Meredith remembers is waking up in the hospital with Addison and Amelia hovering "Oh god, are they okay? Please-" her voice starting pitching.

"Meredith, I need you to breath okay? Breath. You're still pregnant, all three are okay. You're fine and they're still strong, but you can't get upset. You need to stay calm"

"Okay" Meredith breaths slowly "Okay"

"You made the right choice not trying to walk, Dr Alvers barely managed to halt your labor. You're going to stay in that bed, being monitored until I am confident that you are not going to go into labor again. I'm waiting for them to hook you up to a fetal monitor, so get comfortable and keep breathing, Slow and steady" Addison instructs her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it's not too unsatisfactory a resolution... two chapters left to type up and the epilogue... and then eventually you get a short sequel or two
> 
> clarification, because every time I re-read after a while I think I messed up my timeline but...
> 
> week 14/16/18/20 James/Seattle  
> week 13/15/17 Amelia/LA  
> with Meredith's bed rest having started during week 18
> 
> I really hope that on the show things work out with Link, but I had already written this before she started seeing Link and I just still like this and there is virtually nothing with James and I had really liked them.


	21. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew finally gets to come home
> 
> FLUFFF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stuff posted today 18-end probably has extra typos because I was in the zone.

~26 Weeks~ (Valentine's Day)

Meredith adjusts herself slowly in the hospital bed. Her family have helped make the room cozy for her, but it's not home. She is trying very hard to think of this as a good thing. She knows her babies are safer here... But today she is impatient. Today is the day her husband comes home and she's anxious to see him. He has told her very little detail wise, promising that he will explain it all some day, when he isn't worried that it will cause more preterm labor, and she has decided for now, she can live with that.

He stops at the house to get cleaned up from his flight before heading to the hospital. Amelia is just finishing up helping Meredith with her hair when he gets there. She slips out and they're alone. Andrew crosses the room quickly and leans in for a gentle kiss. "Happy Valentine's Day" he whispers.

"It's hard to believe it's only been two years" she kisses him back before taking his hand and 'introducing' him to the babies they have named together over the last few weeks "This one here" she says placing his hand a little off center "this is our girl"

"Alexis" he confirms kissing her bump.

"Mmhmm, she's going to be trouble, if she's awake so are the others. Over here is our son" she moves his hand upwards.

"Andrew" another kiss.

"Andrea..." she corrects him. 

She is being stubborn about using his birth name, and though he really would prefer the more masculine Americanized version, he already plans to let her have her way.

"Who never stops with my ribs. And here" she moves his had down a little and to the other side "is our stubborn little mystery child"

"Madeline" another kiss.

"Or Matteo" she adds "They're the quiet one, which worried me at first, but Addie says they seem fine"

He speaks softly to them for a couple minutes. Telling them they are loved and assuring them that he's not going anywhere again.

"Have you seen the kids yet?" she asks him.

"Not yet. Nobody was at the house when I stopped. I've FaceTimed with them every night this week though.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

About half an hour later Maggie shows up with all the kids, who once they catch sight of Andrew all throw themselves at him with shrieks of "Papà!" and giggles, except for 9 month old Stella who clings to Maggie and makes skeptical faces at Andrew. He doesn't blame her, but it still makes him sad.

"Play for her" Meredith says nodding to his guitar case he had somehow overlooked in the corner.

He isn't convinced it will help, but he pulls it out anyway and sits down next to Maggie and starts playing 'her' song. Stella's eyes get very wide at first and before he's even done she's trying to get to him. He puts down the guitar but keeps singing as she wriggles into his arms. "How did you know that would work?" he asks her afterwards. Stella is bouncing, pushing from her knees, her fist in his hair, trying to kiss his nose. He extracts her hands from his hair and sweeps her into a sitting position and kisses the top of her head.

"I wasn't sure, but I have a video of you on my phone, and sometimes it's the only thing that gets her to sleep" she laughs "and she does _not_ let anyone else sing it"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah it's a little bit of corny exposition but I couldn't think of a better way
> 
> and yes, the switch from Meredith calling her Addison to Addie is deliberate. I feel like any lingering hurt they would have had should be gone at this point in the story, they aren't ever going to be BFFs, but nickname level of friendship seems reasonable.
> 
> You only have to wait for me to type up the epilogue and then I will post the rest... but for me writing this... I still have 3 and the epilogue... this math sucks on my end


	22. LEGO Ferry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some stuff with Meredith and Andrew  
> bonding with Bailey

Andrew spends the next few weeks adjusting to being home and trying to make the kids' lives feel normal again, or at least as close to normal as possible with Meredith at the hospital. She is desperate to be home, but at this point she is far enough along that Addison isn't even discussing trying to go home before the babies come. 

Andrew is far enough behind on his caseload and with the impending triplets he has applied for an extension so that he won't be taking his boards until next year. It's frustrating, but not nearly the most stressful thing in his life right now.

Zola is still having nightmares, though Amelia assures him they've decreased, and usually just going in to hug her helps her calm down and fall back asleep. He talks to her counselor about what happened so that she can better help Zola. He sees one himself. The hospital requires it before he can return to the program, but he had already started going.

Bailey has been a little standoffish since his return, but otherwise fine. Andrew wishes he knew what to say to him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~28 Weeks~

He drops Ellis and Stella off at daycare and pops in to see Meredith.

"Hey you" she smiles at him.

"You seem more cheerful this morning" he observes.

"Happy to see you, but overall not really"

He kisses her, and then the babies.

"Not being able to sit up sucks" she says, but in an oddly cheerful voice.

"I am sure... What's with the voice?"

"I am projecting positivity" 

"Is it helping?"

"Well, it's not making _me_ feel better, but it's not making me feel worse either, and so far this morning Alexis has not started another escape attempt... so maybe? I need her not to do that, because I might be going crazy like this, but Addie is threatening to Trendelenburg me and I will definitely lose my marbles then"

"Okay" he does a good job not actually laughing out loud, but she can see it in his traitorous eyes.

"What are you up to today? she asks him "Since we have covered my plan to lay here and do nothing"

"Grow humans" he corrects her softly causing her to roll her eyes "I have an appointment with my therapist, and I have to go pick up some paperwork from HR, picking up the girls from daycare, going grocery shopping. Then home before Zo and Bailey-" he stops talking to check his phone "It's the school" he says before answering it.

He talks for a minute or so and then hangs up "Bailey isn't feeling well. I'm going to go get him"

"What's wrong with him?"

Andrew sighs "He just says his stomach hurts, and he is upset. I'm hoping it's just a bad day, and not a stomach bug, but I'll have a better idea when I see him... I guess I will go pick the girls back up and head out"

She shakes her head "If they're not sick, leave them. Amelia can bring them in later to say hi and drive them home. Whether he's actually sick or not he could probably use the dedicated attention"

He nods "All right" and kisses her softly "I will call you later?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Bailey is quiet on the ride home, but he doesn't seem to be actually sick. After lunch and PJs Andrew tries bonding with him while they build a ferry out of LEGO. At first he tries talking to Bailey, but that doesn't get him anywhere, so they work in silence for a while. Finally Bailey sits up and looks at him "Are you going to leave again?"

Andrew sets down the piece he had been working on and looks at him "No, Bay. I was only supposed to be gone a couple of days, like a long shift at the hospital, but things happened that I was not in control of. I wasn't allowed to leave, I wasn't allowed to come home to you, and your mamma, and your sisters. I did not want to be gone all that time. I prayed every minute of every day to be home again"

"I know you didn't want to be gone... but you were... and it made Ellis cry, and it made Mommy cry" he looks up at the ceiling and makes a face.

Andrew's heart breaks for him. "Did you cry too?"

Bailey shakes his head, but the look on his face tells a different story "boys don't cry" he says stubbornly.

"Come here Bay" Andrew hauls him up into a hug "Hey, who told you that? That's baloney"

Bailey snuggles in "Trevor"

"Trevor is wrong okay? Sometimes people say that. Some people think crying is a sign of weakness and they want to be tough... but it's just not true. I cry sometimes when I'm sad, or scared, and even sometimes when I am happy. Crying doesn't mean you're weak. It means you care and there's never anything wrong with caring"

Bailey looks up at him again "Did you cry while you were gone?" he asks.

Andrew nods "I was scared, and sad, and missed my family. I cried every day"

Bailey studies the LEGO pieces he's still holding "I cried sometimes. When Zola has the bad dreams..." he admits.

"Do they wake you up?"

"Mmhmm" he confirms "Mommy and Auntie Amy would say that it was okay, but Zo would say you were gone like Daddy"

Andrew hugs him close.

"Zo says I was a baby, and too little to remember... and I don't _really_... but..."

"But what?" Andrew asks gently.

"I remember a remember"

"What's that?"

"I remember when Ellis was real little, Mommy didn't laugh much, but one day she laughed at something Ellis did. An' I got a funny memory of a sound of Mommy laughing... only _more_ and I didn't understand then, but I knew that she didn't laugh like that but she used to... I don't really remember the used-to-laugh memory now, but I remember that I did... and I think that he was the _more_... 'cause when you make Mommy laugh and then you laugh... it sounds the way that memory feels... Do you think it counts if that's all I have?"

"I do" Andrew assures him.

Bailey nods "I don't miss him, but I missed you... and if you go away I don't think Mommy would ever be more again... and it's better when she is"

If Bailey hadn't taken Andrew at his word that he cried sometimes he had plenty of proof now "I don't _ever_ want to leave you guys again"

"I know, but I heard Zo talking to her friend, Sofia, and her daddy is gone-gone, and my friend Stacie's dad- and it just..."

"Oh Bailey, buddy, I know that part of life sucks. You can't get through life without people to love, and when they die it hurts. And nobody can promise that away, because that's just not how it works. Most people live a long time, they get old, and you know their time is coming... But sometimes, like with your dad, or Sofia's dad, they're just accidents. People get hurt and they can't get better. It's too much for their bodies, but I am not going anywhere if I can help it"

They sat and talked for a while. Bailey moved back to the floor and they resumed construction of the ferry while they talked some more. Andrew hadn't realized how many big worries Bailey had been storing up. He makes a mental note to talk to Meredith and Zola's counselor about Bailey. They're just finishing up the ferry when he hears the front door. "Come on Bailey, lets catch Zola before she takes off her boots, and go visit Mommy"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After their visit he asks them to wait with Auntie Amelia so he can talk to Meredith for a couple of minutes. He tells her about their conversation that day "I called Mrs Chase, she's willing to talking to Bailey too, but she needs your signature so she's going to stop by tomorrow afternoon"

"Thank you. I didn't realize how much he's been holding in"

After he leaves she lays there thinking about things for a long time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped people liked this one. The LEGO scene has been my favorite since I wrote it. Maybe my favorite thing I have ever written and a huge driving force behind deciding I wanted to publish this. 
> 
> I'm sure there are people who don't understand the memory thing, but I have a couple of those still, I wasn't as quite as young as Bailey, but I am also not 7 anymore either.
> 
> By the time you read this, the entire fic should be posted...


	23. Papers and Babies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> talking... babies... stuff...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is insane guys. I cannot believe this is almost done...
> 
> another big thank you to sentichefuoripiove for helping with the Italian phrasing

~29 Weeks~

"They're healthy, but small. Keeping them in as long as possible is the best thing, but Alexis doesn't want to cooperate... so yay, I get the medieval torture position" Meredith scrunches her face "I had Stan drop by and help me with a couple things... I've got some papers for you in that folder there. There's two things there, and Stan has the third. The first thing is for now, it's for the school, if they need a signature on anything, or if you need to make changes to their counseling-" she stops and hisses and takes a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" he drops the folder back to the end table rushing over.

"Yes. It's not Alexis, just Andrea with my ribs again. This angle makes that part more fun too"

He runs a hand through her hair "just a few more weeks. I was wrong you know"

"When?" she asks confused.

"Way back, when I said you weren't beyond me. You know you're a total bad-ass right? You are so far beyond me, I'm just..."

She smiles at him "In the folder... the other packet, if you can read through it and sign it"

He picks it up and reads a few lines "Meredith? This is-"

"It's only the petition, we'd still need a judge to approve it, but it's mostly a formality. You don't have to, but-"

He cuts her off "Do you really think I wouldn't sign this? La nostra famiglia è il mio mondo. This paper? This court stuff? Is for them, not for us. This is- of course I'm going to sign this... I need a pen..." (our family is my world)

"It will probably be a few months before we can finalize it, but you have the paperwork for the school and if something happens to me-"

"Mer-"

"If something happens to me, Stan has a new copy of my will. Either way you'll have to have a court date to finalize it... but if we do it together it gets to be a good day, with ice cream and happiness. Now more than ever, with this thing where I am stuck here, and you being gone for half a year... They need to know you have them. They need to know..."

"Meredith, I absolutely am going to sign that okay? I don't think you realize how in awe of you I am. Everything you do for them... and how much I love them already... You're their _mom_ and have had a lot longer with them... I just don't even begin to know how I got lucky enough to win your heart, let alone this kind of faith"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~31.5 Weeks~

Maggie is at the house with the kids. Andrew is on call, but it is fairly quiet so he is on the couch in her room doing charts when her water breaks. It's early, but not unexpected so nobody is panicking.

Alexis is smaller than Andrew can imagine any healthy baby being, at just a smidgen under 3 and a half pounds, but her apgar score is high and they've been reminded that they would be small even if they were full term. Addison assures him she's good sized for a triplet. They send her to the NICU in an incubator for observation. After Alexis progress is slow and then there is something wrong. Addison rushes Meredith into the OR.

After what seems like an eternity Alex comes out to the waiting room to talk to Andrew "Both babies are out. They're already heading to the NICU. The boy is 3 pounds 9 ounces, and his apgar was good, not as high as it could be, but not bad, and it went up. The girl is a little smaller, 3 pounds 4 ounces, and her first score was pretty low. It did improve significantly though and we don't believe that she's going to have any lasting deficits. I know you've been told before, but just as a reminder, they'll stay here until they're at least 4 pounds, maybe longer"

"What about Meredith?"

"Addison had it mostly under control by the time I came out, I can check back in and will update you as-"

"Has _what_ under control?"

"Andrew..."

"Has what under control Alex?!"

"There was some hemorrhaging, I was a bit occupied with the babies, but from what I heard it was under control. Let me go see what I can find out"

Andrew paces restlessly, praying in Italian and English and then reverting back to Italian again.

Finally Addison comes out "She's in recovery, she lost a lot of-" but Andrew had already bolted as soon as he heard she was in recovery.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If she could see herself right now she would say she looked like hell, but Andrew would have highly disagreed. She wakes up, but is still exhausted.

"Hey, how'd it go? Are they all okay" she starts to panic.

"Alex says they're fine. Small, but fine"

"What's wrong with me then?" she asks.

"Mer?"

"Well you look distressed, and feel like I have been torn apart"

"I don't know. I'm sorry. I heard you were in recovery and I didn't wait for details"

Addison speaks up from behind him "You had some complications, lots of hemorrhaging, I had to do an emergency hysterectomy"

"Is that all?" Meredith asks.

"That's not the usual reaction, but yes, that is the extent of the complications"

Meredith adjusts herself and hisses in pain a little "Addie I now have _seven_ kids, three of which were not planned, and only two of the are old enough for school. Believe me I have no more use for that particular organ. I was much more concerned it might have been something I actually need"


	24. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stella turns 1, the babies come home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said one more chapter and then the epilogue, but this is basically an epilogue too, it's fairly short... but everything should be up today... I can't believe how close I am to being done writing this
> 
> Owen and Matthew are not in attendance, because I can only cram in just so many characters lol... Matthew isn't really close to them anyway and I am still in a snit about the way Owen treated Amelia this season

Maddie takes the longest to be discharged. They send her home the week before Stella's birthday. Even though the house is chaos and she's exhausted Meredith decides Stella needs a birthday party anyway. Only a small group is invited. After blowing out the candle Alex and Andrew and the other guys herd the kids outside so that they don't get frosting everywhere and while the women stay in the living room with Meredith and the littlest ones.

"Okay" Jo says sitting up and picking up her son "I love him, but one is exhausting and overwhelming. I can't imagine doing this a second time. I have no idea how you're even functioning right now"

"Honestly neither do I" Meredith answers dryly "Every time I thought I was done forever..."

They can see the guys and the kids in the backyard. Bailey is chasing Zola and Ellis, Alex has scooped up Ruby to keep her from being stampeded by the bigger kids and he and Andrew, holding Stella, are laughing at something together while Jackson is pushing Harriet and Leo on the swing set and James helps Allison navigate the slide.

"Having two isn't that bad" Teddy offers

"No, it depends I guess... Bailey never slept" Meredith says

"Harriet and Ruby are pretty easy going" April offers hesitantly "I just hope this next one doesn't upset the balance too much"

"You're pregnant?!" Maggie exclaims.

"Yeah, we just told our parents last week" April confirms.

"That's great" Teddy smiles at her "Owen and I were thinking about maybe one more... but not for at least another year"

"What about you?" April asks Amelia "Are you and James planning to have kids?"

Amelia wishes she hadn't been put on the spot, but she knows that with the engagement ring she's wearing again people are going to be at least a little curious and this is a perfectly normal thing to talk about "We haven't even set a date yet... We are thinking at least a year from when he proposed again. Even without the tumor I still tend to jump when I should walk... A decent length engagement... and then... maybe, when the time is right, we're planning to adopt. I don't trust my body after my- after Christopher, and if I have learned anything from being part of this family, I don't need blood to love. We can give a home to a kid, maybe two that need one"

Teddy pokes Maggie with her toe "I guess that just leaves you" 

"I uh..."

"They're not even engaged yet" Meredith defends Maggie who looks a little uncomfortable.

"It's not that" Maggie says "We... talked a while ago... I want two, he wants a boy... we decided 3 is the limit, boys or not... and we are both fine just being together and not getting married... but- we decided that if I do get pregnant we'll get married before the- it's practical... but uh... we've been trying since before Stella was born. I'm not sure it's ever happening... which- heh- I did not anticipate being a problem"

"So are you guys thinking about adoption too?" Teddy asks, now only trying to be sympathetic and feeling like a total heel for bringing it up.

"Kind of... I mean, I'm adopted, how could I not consider it? But at the same time... I am not ready to give up on having my own yet"

A silence settles over the living room while they stare out the window.

"Well" says Meredith "At least I know I'm done for sure this time"


	25. Leather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue:  
> Andrew gives Meredith something leather for their third anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At one point I tried to write a fic about their anniversary gifts based on traditional gifts for each year... this was the only part of it worth salvaging though.  
> Even though this particular story doesn't contain their first "I love you" I still imagine it the same way each time... it involves Andrew telling her he knows he is further into the relationship than he is and her yelling "Ti amo idiota!" at him...

The morning of their third anniversary he hands her a box. She opens it and looks at him a little confused and a little wary "Your motorcycle jacket?"

"You hate the bike" it's not a question.

“I wouldn't say-”

“But you do. I know that... and I'm your _idiota_ who doesn't always see things as soon as I should. The jacket isn't your present cara mia. I sold the bike. It's gone. I knew you didn't like it... but it didn't click for me until I was trying to find you something leather. I got to thinking about when I bought it and realized that I'm not the guy that bought it four years ago, I'm the guy that sold it to me, before he nearly got killed. I bought it to celebrate being alive, but that's how our family makes me feel now. I don't need to nearly die before I learn”

She thanks him for her present later, by wearing it... just the jacket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I can't believe I am DONE... This is by far the longest thing I have ever written, even just for myself. I am so pleased to share it all with you guys.


End file.
